Jealous?

Alright,

I've completed my two/three month hibernation process, and should have succesfully gotten rid of every single person that used to be patient enough to check here for updates. It's all good, I didn't need any of them anyhow.

Today is dedicated to a status update, because I still have tons of stuff I have to get done, and instead I'm wasting time writing in my blog so that people can "learn more about me". As if I want anyone to learn about me anyhow, but just in case someone has happened upon this site, I've created an opportunity for them to understand what I'm about in a few easy points:

Music: Avril Lavigne when I'm depressed (90% of the time). Avril Lavigne played backwards when I'm happy.

Favorite colour: Black

Special move: Navy turnbuckle swingback

Finishing move: Double boot stompadoo

The Navy turnbuckle swingback is a move I've been working on for several years now, and with my sabatical in Hawaii, where I was studying the graceful yet deadly manatee, I'm proud to say that I finally perfected the move. You can see me using it this Saturday at the Thunderdome.

A lot of you are probably wondering if I'm going to elaborate a bit further on the manatee. Naturally I am. Most people don't realize that the manatee is among the most poisonous creatures on this planet. Using a spear that protrudes from its back, it is capable of injecting over 2000 cc's of lethal fibrotoxin, a poison that works by instantly giving rigor-mortis. In Hawaii they actually have a museum of people that have been killed by the manatee, each one in a more hilarious position than the last one due to the rigor-mortis. Normal rigor-mortis goes away after a few hours, but people stung by the manatee are given the old screwgy and stuck with it forever.

Anyhow, it wasn't until I realized that I would be needing to defend myself against a potential manatee attack that I had my turnbuckle swingback breakthrough. Taking into account the perfect balance of weight, grace, and aethestic beauty that the manatee possesses, I realized that I would need to instead approach the maneuver from an angle of 72 arc minutes, rather than the traditional two degrees, eight minutes, five seconds I had been using. With this in mind, I entered the arena and immediately defeated two manatee without any trouble. I knew then that I was ready to come back.

A lot of people have been asking me how my Hawaii trip was. The answer is: good.

I have a new job now that's really good. I work with GIS information and applications. That stands for Government Intelliop Soundwave, and is a new type of weapon the Canadian government is working, revolving mostly around the use of super high powered bass to distort and reverbrate buildings to the ground. The other day while testing, my senior co-worker Reggie used one of the prototypes to knock the hub cap off of some loser's car. It was totally awesome.

I'm actually pretty busy right now, because the University of Victoria has contacted me with a side-project in which I will be attempting to remove the bunnies on campus with a computer program. I have decided to attempt to use Microsoft Access for this task, and will keep everyone posted with updates.

I think that's all I'm going to give right now. Stay tuned for exciting updates (come back in a year's time).