The journals for squash are definitely piling up. I've played about five games since my last journal, which I believe was on Thursday or Friday.

I haven't been playing particularly well lately. Well, that's not quite fair. I don't play particularly well at the best of times, but some days I at least feel like my practice has paid off. The last five games I've played have felt like I took a step backward and have been using a large sack of meat instead of a squash racquet to swing at the ball. I've tried to play squash with a large sack of meat before, and let me tell you something - it's less effective than a racquet (though I heard that that's how they train in Russia, and in Rocky IV).

I started out on Friday getting to the club an hour early, so I could work on some drills. Nothing new, just the usual hard drives down the side walls, and high soft shots. Neither of these were working particularly well, but the way I deal with that is to just keep practicing through it. Nevertheless, by the end of it, it's hard not to feel a little disheartened.

So, naturally, the first game I play of the night is against some guy named James. James, (or Jimbo, as I like to call him when he can't find out that that is what I'm calling him), kicked my ass, and I already wrote about that. The other two games I played were alright, but I really didn't feel like I was playing the way I wanted to play.

On Saturday, I had a game against Megan. Megan plays in A division for women, and that means that I get very little leighway for mistakes. Megan's great to play, because she's much more skilled than I am (meaning I'm punished for every mistake I make), but I have more power and reach than her, so I can still stay in the game (most of the time).

Anyhow, I got to the courts an hour early again to get some drills in, still feeling like they weren't working quite as I wanted, and after about twenty minutes, a guy named Paul asked if I've wanted to play. Paul's a good guy, and a fairly sharp squash player - I watched him beat Jeff four game's straight, and saw him playing earlier against a guy named Tim, who's a B level player. Anyhow, I played some pretty pathetic games against Paul, once again, meat-sacking it up on the court (from now on, when I suck, I'm just going to to refer to it as meat-sacking. Maybe it'll catch on). I finished up with him, and then played Megan.

My game against Megan was pretty unimpressive. I don't think I hit a single drive that didn't bounce off the side wall, slowing down and coming out into the center. Every higher shot I tried to hit either came off the back wall on the full, or was at about head height. The points that I did get felt like lucky shots on my part, or unforced errors on Megan's part (and most of those errors would have been sure points if she had hit the ball in - I hate her drop shots so damn much!). I like playing people that are better than me, as it's one of the best ways to force yourself to improve your game, but I hate feeling like I'm wasting their time. It's nice to at least feel like you're making the other player run around a little bit.

Anyhow, my coming week is looking a little bit more open than last week, so I'm hoping to get some serious drill time in on the court before the Friday club night. The things I need to work on are the same as I mentioned in the last entry, and I'm just going to have to knuckle up and tough it out if I'm not getting any satisfaction from the drills. Practice helps, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Alright, been a while since I've had the opportunity to sit down and put any thought into dancing. My fresno is coming along, but slowly. In the meantime, I'm thinking up new pieces of foundation that I can add in to my practice routine to allow for more variation, and start broadening out my horizons.

So, the next couple of moves that are going into the existing fresno are leg rolls. There's a couple of ways to do leg rolls: You can roll the legs individually, or together, and you can do them inwards, outwards, or both in the same direction. I'm going to post some videos of me doing poor leg rolls pretty soon. Please keep in mind that I have got very poor leg rolls at the moment, and so these videos won't look impressive. Not only that, they're only intended as a means for people to identify exactly what the move itself is. Hopefully they'll improve as time passes.

Some of the keys to good rolls are:

• Isolation

Isolation is the key to all of the funk styles dances. You want to move one part of your body, then another, then another - this is part of the reason funk style dances look bizarre to the eye, as it is a totally unnatural way for the human body to move (typically everything moves together, unless you're some weird kid that grew up mimicking Robocop). If you don't believe me, video tape yourself walking and observe how all of your limbs move together. You don't take a step, then swing your arm, then rotate your head, etc. So, when you're practicing, make sure you're isolating.

What am I really talking about? Well, when you do a leg roll, make sure that only the leg is moving. Your hips should stay stationary. I believe that you can take the isolation further and make it a knee roll, in which case your feet remain in the same spot on the floor. Naturally it may be impossible to get much motion if most of your body stays motionless, so there are certain ways you can cheat - lifting up the heel of your foot throughout the roll, then placing it back down will give you a lot more motion - just remember, the more isolated each move, the better it will look.

• Nice big rolls, and evenly paced

Make the roll big enough that you can see it, and make sure the body part you're rolling traces out a decent sized circle. For example, a good knee roll should have your knee trace a nice even circle, perhaps ending back in the same spot. If you make the circumference of the circle you are tracing out too small, you're going to lose a lot of the effect. Go big or go home.

At the same time, don't substitute a lack of practice and smoothness with speed. Doing something faster might make it look better to you, but keep in mind that this is dancing, and the music dictates the rate at which you're moving your body. Learning to do something fast, but poorly, just guarantees that you're going to regret your lack of foundations later (I'm speaking from experience here).

I'll have videos of the rolls posted tomorrow evening - I've still got to post a squash journal for this weekend, so I don't have time to make any videos. Stay tuned!

I just got a ring stuck through my face, and now I'm posting a picture of it. Horray! Let's all eat some cake. I'll post details later on.

Later on turned out to be ten minutes later, so here are the details:

I wanted an eyebrow ring since about two years ago. I'm not sure why really - I mean, I really like the way they look, and I guess it just appealed to me in the same way that getting my ears pierced did - it felt like it suited me.

Anyhow, I decided at the start of last week that I was going to get either the top of my ear or my eyebrow pierced, and started thinking about it. I really like piercings on guys on top of the ear, and it was slightly less out there than the eyebrow piercing was, but I really wanted to get something stabbed into my eyebrow. On Friday I checked with my work to make sure it was okay, and on Saturday headed down to Urge.

The dude that helped me was pretty deadpan, read me the instructions for care, explained the waiver that I had to sign (basically that I'm guaranteed everything clean and what not up to the piercing, but once I leave the premises, it's up to me to take care of it properly), and then we went into the piercing room and he set me up.

The whole process was pretty painless. I mean, having metal stuck through your face never feels great, but it was about as painful as getting my ears pierced was. My eyes immediately started watering, and I looked forward to leaving the room crying like a girl.

So now my eyebrow is pierced. I love it, it looks even better than I thought it would - just hope my Mom and Dad don't hate it too much.

Meh, very sleepy. It's late now, and I'm still tired from an evening of playing squash and the vestiges of working out for the first couple of nights in quite some time. I downloaded Star Trek The Next Generation Season 4 last week, but I haven't watched it much until tonight. TNG is pretty much the best thing ever. It's awesome on multiple levels. I mean, you've got Jean Luc Picard, who, let's be honest here, is played by the sublime Patrick Stewart. I think if I was going to be one of those weird people that decide they have crushes on members of their sex, but aren't gay, Patrick Stewart would be my crush. He does everything.

Anyhow, I've spent the past week working and playing squash. I was too tired to play poker on Wednesday, because I'd just come from about two hours of squash, and had had a rough day. Playing poker when impatient or angry isn't a very good idea, and for that reason, I skipped playing at work the next day as well.

It looks like I'm going to get an eyebrow ring put in tomorrow. I just have to go to Urge and talk to them about aftercare, and whether or not I can play squash with it. I don't think squash should be a problem - getting hit in the face with a squash ball is usually pretty bad anyhow, and doesn't happen too often, so I think I'm basically going to take my chances. I'll post a picture of me once I've gotten the piercing done. I've wanted an eyebrow ring for about two years, but have never gotten around to getting it done. Worst case scenario, if I don't like it, I can always get it taken out.

I've had some really good thoughts lately, that I kind of want to take some time to sit down and hash out, but sometimes I get frustrated trying to articulate the thoughts and ideas that are racing through my head, especially after spending all day working hard. Seriously, it might sound dumb, but it's taxing trying to put your thoughts into words that are understandable and fitting. At least, it is for me.

Anyhow, I've got like three entries stuck in draft mode where I've tried to organize my thoughts on humour - why it works, how it works, what makes something funny, etc. I'm not an expert by any means, but humour is something I spend a lot of time thinking about. I think it's safe to say that it's one of (if not the most) the defining aspects of my personality. Some of these thoughts I came up with when talking with my friend Michi, some when sitting around doing some introspection. However, everytime I sit down and try to write them out, I draw a blank. I think that it's time I invest in a logbook that I can take with me wherever I go, and jot down thoughts whenever they come to me. I have one that I use at work, and I find it really helpful to be able to quickly write down anything that comes to mind.

I've also had some great talks with Myron about religion (especially the simpler takes on it, and some of the extreme cases), that would make interesting-ish entries. But once again, when I sit down and try to re-articulate those discussions and thoughts - nothing.

Tomorrow I'm going to grab a logbook, and then see what happens.

Wow... doing things like getting a logbook? Keeping journal entries of my progress in various areas of my life that I want to make improvements? That's got forty-five year old man written all the hell over it. Then on the other hand, I'm doing things like getting facial piercings, feeling unsatisfied with remaining idle, and getting myself into various hijinxes (five-dollar word for tonight). I remember growing up and just assuming that at some point in your life, a gland that sits idle in the back of your head through most of adolescence and early twenties suddenly bursts into life and starts making you act responsibly. It's funny how wrong I was, because I'm constantly fighting the urge to leap into the pool of stupidity and do something totally irresponsible.

My friend Nate from the squash club mentioned that I should have a section that is devoted to the books I'm currently reading, or book recommendations I want to make. I do a lot of reading, partially because I'm a fast reader, partially because I love learning new things, and mostly because I don't mind looking like a moron reading a book while I'm walking places. Time permitting, I'll hopefully have that up before the end of the weekend, and then everyone will be able to read the exact same things as me. This will naturally give me a huge disadvantage, because I won't be able to quote books I've read in order to give myself the appearance of intelligence. In order to accomodate for this, I'll be working out my forehead a lot, which will give me the appearance of having a super brain. Problem solved.

This blog is starting to become nothing but journal entries - I better start doing something else besides squash and poker, or it's going to dry right up.

I just got back from the club night at Victoria Squash Club. I didn't get to play as much as I did last time I went, which is unfortunate, because I stayed for almost three times longer. Oh well, hopefully it'll be a little more quiet next time. In any case, I played one A player, and a couple of friends of mine.

The A player (I play at a low C level) kicked my ass repeatedly. He hit non-stop lob serves to me, and showed me what I was doing wrong. That's really good - I always appreciate advice like this, but it's frustrating, because it's very difficult to practice this kind of return unless you have someone to do drills with that can reliably make the same serve. I'll have to talk to Stuart about this, and see if he can help me with it.

The C level games went about as I expected, I won two of them, and lost my last one to my friend Jeff. The game I played with Jeff was close, but Jeff had just finished a game, so I can't really take to much credit for that. Nevertheless, I feel that my practicing and progress is paying off - it's no longer a total slaughter when I'm playing Jeff.

The things I'm trying to work on right now are:

• Keep drives close to the side wall

I didn't realize it until recently, when I really tried to pick apart my game, but I've noticed that a lot of my drives are either hitting the side wall, slowing down, and coming further out into the center, or start out far from the wall, and maintain that position. I'm spending more and more time practicing straight drives as much as possible, so hopefully I'll gradually start to see the improvement in this area that my game needs.

• Keep improving high soft shots

Whoa! Totally out of the blue. This shot takes a lot of practice. I'm gradually getting better at it, but I've noticed that I'm still putting too much power into the shot. It's amazing how much distance the ball will travel with the softest touch when it's put up high on the front wall. Practice sessions for my self currently consist pretty much of the high soft shots and drives straight down the wall.

• Keep my racquet head up when preparing for drop shots

My friend Nate noticed that I was dropping my racquet head everytime I went up to the front for a drop shot. This is a really bad habit - I don't want to let people know what shot I'm going to make until the very last moment. Whenever setting up a shot, make sure that the racquet head stays cocked and ready - don't actually make the shot until the very last moment.

• Take forehand shots off the left leg

Damn this is so hard to get down. I'm so used to hitting shots off my right leg all the time that it really is difficult to break out of the habit. Nevertheless, the only way I'm going to learn is to force myself to think carefully about my footwork, and make sure I'm taking shots off the left leg, no matter how frustrating it is.

One shot I've noticed lately that is very effective is whenever the opponent has made a loose shot towards the center of the court, and they are stuck behind me- keep an eye on them, and move them backwards - they have to give you a clear shot, so as you back up with the path of the ball, you push them further and further away from the front of the court. Then, drop the shot into the front corner of the court. Just don't overuse the shot - if your opponent gets wise and starts running around you and waiting in front for the drop, hit a drive to the back corner, and get him running in the other direction.

That's all for now, it's Star Trek time.

Since I first started trying to make an actual effort to improve my squash game (I started this motion about a year ago), I've noticed various changes in my game, along with ups and downs of improvement. This entry is mostly for anyone that wants to improve their game further, and see what changes I've noticed have made big differences in my progress. So, without further ado, below is the list of things that I've noticed have helped me along the way. These are presented in chronological order from earliest changes, up to most recent.

1. Start watching the ball, rather than the front wall, and play drives down the side wall

Until I started reading through squash websites for a better understanding of strategy, I was oblivious to what the best shot was. I know I really liked the offensive boast (Hit the ball hard off the side wall, and have it die in the front corner opposite that wall), but other than that, I had no notion of what worked best. Learning that the drive down the length of the wall presented a big change in my game, and if nothing else, made it harder for my opponents to return shots, as they now had less room within which to maneuver.

Turning and watching my opponents make their shot made a huge difference too, as I was now giving myself almost twice as much time to figure out exactly where the ball was going. Interestingly enough, this change can partially be attributed to my purchase and use of a set of protective eye goggles. Until I started doing this, I was too scared to turn around, for fear of getting a ball in my face. Once I had goggles, it was a lot easier to turn and watch.

2. Learning how to boast out of the back corners.

Okay, so, I've said it at least twice in my journals: the defensive boast shot is not a good play. It leaves the ball and your opponent up at the front of the court, and you way at the back, in the opposite corner. That being said, until I learned this defensive shot, I was doomed everytime the ball landed deep in the back corners of the court. Learning to boast was essentially the first step in me learning to play shots that were anywhere on the court. I'm not saying I was playing those shots well, but this basically pushed my game to the level where at least my opponent was never guaranteed a free point simply by putting the ball in the back corners - I could now play any shot on the court, as long as I could get to it.

3. Learning to hit drives when the ball is close off the back wall.

There was a period of about three weeks where I'd go up to the courts at UVic, and spend at least three days a week hitting the ball off the front wall, let it bounce off the back wall, and then swing free trying to hit the ball. I didn't care if my racquet bounced off the wall, nor if the people outside of the court thought I was a maniac for smashing my racquet against the glass wall over and over. Eventually though, this taught me how much room I required to make a good shit, and techniques to reduce the amount of room required. Doing this, I learned tricks like the proper way to position myself for a shot that is close to the backwall, how much space I needed before a boast was the only answer, and when choking up on the grip of my racquet would be a good move.

At this point, I still had no notion of many of the more effective types of shots in scenarios such as this one, like a high soft shot. Nevertheless, learning this added a shot to my arsenal from the back corners of the court, and my opponents could no longer sit waiting at the front of the court for my defensive boast to come straight to them.

4. Getting a drill partner, and doing drills

At this point in my game, I was still playing at UVic, and I was still horrible. Beyond horrible even. I would win some of my games, and lose a lot more, but realistically, I was playing garbage squash. Nevertheless, I met up with an old friend I used to know from raving named Jesse, and we both agreed that we wanted to improve our squash game, and doing drills would be the best way to do that.

Doing drills with Jesse gave me a chance to focus on specific aspects of my game that needed improvement, and made it a lot easier not only to practice the same shot over and over again, but also to actually make the effort to go out and do the drills. It's probably common knowledge, but when you have a partner counting on you to come out and do drills with them, there's a lot of additional motivation there to keep the routine going.

5. Starting to hit a good length

This particular item will appear at least one more time, because I had to learn this in stages. At this point in my game, I had been reading lots of squash strategy articles, and watching lots of videos online (as an aside, to anyone that is looking for a great squash resource, I highly recommend www.guide-to-squash.org. They offer training videos, tips, and videos of matches from tournaments). I realized that a lot of my shots were coming off the back wall on the full, meaning that they would come off the front wall, and bounce straight off the back wall, rather than hitting it after bouncing on the floor once first. This is a bad shot, because, as I've mentioned before, it bounces back into the center of the court, giving the opponent lots of time to cover it, and less distance to run to get to it.

Jesse and I put a lot of hours into doing drive drills, over, and over, and over. Sometimes I would get so frustrated I wanted to smash my racquet into the wall. It is really hard learning to make this shot work properly when first trying out, or at least was for me, as I have a fair amount of strength behind my shot, and have a racquet that also provides a lot of power when hitting the ball. Training myself to hit the ball with the right amount of force was tedious. Gradually though, my shots were getting better. At first I wouldn't get a single shot that didn't come off the back wall on the full. But then the next time I would get three shots that were correct, then ten, and so on. I couldn't hit this drive consistently, and especially not when under pressure, but I was definitely improving.




So, at this point, I had developed my game somewhat. There was (and still is) tons to be desired to my game, but at least I was aware of what I needed to be improving (or thought I was at least), and I had started putting in the time to improve some of my shots. At this point, I had been working on improving for about a year, and was regularly playing my friends Mark and Jeff to try and improve. I graduated, and went to Hawaii for two weeks, then came back, and started my new job.

This threw a bit of turmoil into the mix, and I found it tough to get back into squash. I had moved downtown, and was trying to avoid driving. A game of squash demanded an impressive amount of effort on my part, as getting to UVic from downtown was either a long bus-ride, or a tiring bike-ride both ways. I hated it, but I was having trouble finding the time to play squash. Meanwhile, Jeff had joined Victoria Squash Club, and Mark had bought a punch card to play there. My pool of players to play at UVic was diminishing.

This leads into the next set of steps that have led to improvements, and these below are where things really started to pick up. I can say with quite a bit of confidence that I have improved more in the past two months than I have in the year that led up to this point. However, the time I spent leading up to now was not a waste, and helped me build up a foundation for the mental strategy involved in the game, as well as the discipline required to practice what I was about to learn. Onwards, to the rest of the list..




6. Join an actual squash club

Okay, this is a bit of an umbrella for the rest of the items to follow, but this step made a huge difference. Suddenly, I was surrounded by people that loved playing squash as much as I did, rather than just treating it as something to do before they went and worked out at the gym, or between mid-terms in their classes. This attitude alone made me want to improve even more. Everytime I came into the club, I was watching really good players playing really good squash. The staff are cool and friendly, and loved squash. There was now a club pro who could help me with my game and point out what I was doing wrong.

My motivation to improve increased in leaps and bounds, solely from the atmosphere provided by Victoria Squash Club. It really made a humongous difference. In addition to what I mentioned above, when I signed up for my membership, I was given a free hour long assessment of my playing ability by Stuart Dixon, the club pro.. The results of that lead into my next point..

7. Play a bit with a pro, and get him to comment on what you're doing wrong and right

Whoa, biggest difference ever. I guess we're really lucky at our club, because we've got a really awesome pro: Stuart Dixon. Stuart broke down the parts of my game that were really lacking (all aspects essentially), pointed out the things I was doing wrong, showed me some drills to work on, helped me correct my grip, and let me know about the process for taking lessons.

Well, Stuart turned my game upside-down. I was doing a lot of things wrong, and unfortunately, it seemed that although my year of drills and practice hadn't been all for naught, they had definitely helped ingrain a lot of bad habits into my game. Some of the things I'd picked up included: Using the wrong grip on my racquet (twice actually, since I was using a different grip for backhand and forehand, and they were both incorrect), still hitting the ball with too much power, ignoring the importance of high soft shots, and a host of other things

Doing the hour of assessment with Stuart was essential to me being able to move past the plateau my progress had levelled out on. Without being shown what I was doing wrong (and how to correct it), I would have continued trying to perfect an imperfect playing style. If there is any one thing that I recommend someone do when trying to progress their game, it is this item right here. You can't go wrong talking to a pro. They'll show you what you're doing wrong, and give you some tips to correct it, and some drills to practice.

8. Correcting my grip on the racquet

Even though I didn't know exactly what the correct grip was, I knew I was doing it incorrectly when I was playing at UVic, because I was using two different grips for my forehand and backhand. This couldn't possibly be right, as I was wasting time switching back and forth as the shot I was making demanded.

I had made a concerted effort to switch my backhand grip, beceause I could tell even then that it was incorrect - surely I shouldn't be using a grip on the racquet that caused every single one of my backhand shots to fly directly out of the court and into the Adam's apple of an innocent bystander (it turns out that my assumption was correct, even though it was a lot of fun watching people turn purple after a really good apple-shot).

Fixing my grip was excruciating, because it was like learning everything all over again. I had to teach myself how to drive again, based on my new grip, and I had to learn to aim my shots different onto the front wall again, since my new grip caused my racquet face to actually be slightly less closed than previous, meaning that the technique I'd been using to aim before was now causing my shots to fly too far upwards.

Interestingly (or so boring that you now hate my soul) enough, my backhand was now a lot better than my forehand. Because of the grip that I had correct when playing at UVic, the correct grip was very close to what I had been playing with on my backhand. This was good and bad - I didn't have to work as hard on my backhand as much as my forehand, because it was in a lot better shape, and I was already moving my body in the correct manner to generate enough power for a backhand shot (a lot of the power in squash is generated from rotating your torso around your hips through with the shot).

Guess what? This makes a huge difference. Unbelievable difference. If you're tempted to just stick with your current grip on the racquet, even though you know it's incorrect, just because you don't want to go through the effort of changing it, stop immediately and come to my house so I can hit you in the throat with a squash ball. Seriously, even if all your shots stay exactly the same after you've changed (which is highly unlikely), you'll be amazed at how much better you can hit the ball under extreme pressure. Prior to changing my grip, a fast shot off the front wall heading directly towards me was a guaranteed loose, slow shot to the center of the court for my opponent to return. Now that I've changed my grip, I have twice as many options in a situation like this. I'm no longer restricted to either forehand or backhand, based on whatever grip I'm currently holding the racquet in, and can make whichever shot is best given the situation.

9. Take lessons regularly

Okay, here's the second biggest thing I can suggest to people that want to improve. This tip goes hand in hand with practicing what you've been taught. A lesson will provide you with things you need to work on, drills to help work on them, and the pro will show you what you're doing right and wrong. However, unless you take time afterwards to actually practice those things, you're not going to see a lot of improvement.

In any case, regular lessons make a huge difference, not only because it provides motivation to keep doing drills, and continually forces you to look at aspects of your game and see where you need to improve, but also because it gives the pro a chance to look at what you're doing and see things that you don't. I can break this down best with an example: Stuart had shown me the correct grip, and I was trying to put it into use. I'd played a couple of games, and forced myself to use the new grip (more on that later), but I was noticing pains in my wrist after every game. I mentioned this to Stuart, and by the next lesson, he could tell me what I was doing wrong. He essentially told me the same things that he'd told me when I first learned to correctly grip the racquet, but therein lies one of the benefits of taking lessons regularly - your memory isn't perfect, and mine is especially unperfect (leave a comment about my invention of the word unperfect and I ban you forever). Given that, I had listened and watched Stuart show me the correct grip and how to swing the racquet, but when trying to replicate that, I was remembering only select parts of that lesson, and had started using some mutant grip that was a cross between my old grip and the new.

Without the regular lessons, I would have gone on to continue using this grip, hurting my wrist, and playing bad squash.

10. Force yourself to play games that are less fun

Okay, weird item name, I know. But, it goes like this: I have some friends that, for whatever reason, I find myself beating most of the games against them that I play. In cases like this, I take it as an opportunity to really work on the shots that I need to practice. The last couple of times I've played my friend Lee (who has me beaten hands down for raw athleticism, but has less technique than me), I've tried to focus on making high soft shots, because this is what I need the most practice with right now.

Doing this has several benefits. First of all, every time you make one of these shots, you're improving a little. Secondly, forcing yourself to make shots like this in a game forces you to learn how to make them while under pressure. Sitting in the corner doing the same drill over and over again is good, but it's also important to learn to be able to consistently make the same shot when you're under pressure.

I find this technique works best when I restrict myself to two different types of shots at most (lately I've been doing only drop shots and high soft shots) - If I cheat and let myself make drives now and then, I find myself getting more and more tempted every shot to make a drive (generally the better shot when your opponent is under pressure and out of position) to win the rally, which isn't really the goal in this excercise. This point is really good, because it forces me to constantly keep in mind the main factor in winning good squash - it's not about making a kill shot that instantly ends the rally. It's about consistently putting the ball where it is hardest for your opponent to get to. It's amazing how much you can move an opponent around the court using only drops and high soft shots.

The only tricky part about this excercise is that it requires great patience. At first, every second shot I make is frustrating, because I know I could cheat and just nail a nice drive to the back corner, rather than inevitably hitting the ball out of the court when I go high and soft. However, for every shot that you make that goes too high and out of the court, you're saving yourself from making that shot further down the road. Try not to think of the game in terms of winning based on points, but in terms of putting the ball where you want it to go.

11. Force yourself to play people that are better than you are.

When you play someone that is better than you, you really don't get the opportunity to screw up. This is essentially the opposite of the above point. For the previous point, you're practicing the shots you can't do well, and it forces you to really dig for the ball if you screw it up. With this point, you're being put in a position where you have to use every shot at your disposal to make sure your opponent doesn't get the chance to clean you out. When I play people that are weaker than I am, I can get lazy, and not worry so much about moving them off the T. But, once you start playing someone with more skill, every loose shot you make, and every drive that you make that they can cut off has you running full out to avoid losing the rally. Playing better players forces you to play better squash (or lose) (or die of a heart-attack).

Well, that about covers everything I can think of that has so far led up to this point in my progress. If anyone has noticed specific things they've done that had dramatically helped their progress, please leave a comment, I'd love to hear about them.

The past week has blasted by me in record time, and it feels like this is the first time I've had to actually sit down and reflect on what's happened. I've played poker every night except Monday this week, and I think I've played squash every night as well. That's a good thing, those are both important things that I really want to continue improving, and the only way to effectively improve is to keep practicing. On another positive note, I've had first place finishes at least three of the four times I've played this week, so I must be doing some things right (and had some luck swinging my way).

Last night I managed to squeeze in time for one game of poker over at my friend Brad's house, and I want to write about the hand that led me to the final heads up play. I didn't really play this hand as I had planned. Graham had already put in his big blind, and it was up to me whether I was going to meet his bet. I looked down at my cards and saw 10-5, both clubs. Definitely not a very strong hand, but, in heads up play, your opponent isn't usually holding much better. I had decided that I was going to call Graham's initial blind bet, and raise the pot 300 in order to try and get a read on what he was holding. I chose 300 because I figured that it left him with enough money to call my bet and then get out if he didn't connect with the flop. I didn't want to make a really large bet, such that his only option would be either to push all in, or fold - I really wanted to see the flop, without him shoving all his chips towards the center of the table.

So far so good. Graham thought for a couple of seconds, and what do you know, he shoves all his chips into the center. Now, at this point, I should have respected the fact that I had made a raise to get a read on Graham, and he was sending me a pretty strong one. His all-in reraise pushed the amount to call to around 700. I had more than enough chips to call and see what he had, and so I did exactly that, but I really should have been playing smarter. My initial bet had two goals:

1. Ideally, take him out of the pot right there, and steal the blinds.

Graham's a smart player, and doesn't play with rags. If he didn't have anything, I was hoping he'd fold his cards, and let me take the blinds. Again, I wasn't holding a lot, but by the same token, I didn't think he was either.

2. If Graham didn't fold right then, at least get some kind of idea for what he's holding.

After Graham reraised, I basically totally disregarded my intial purpose for betting, and called him. Granted, I didn't really think he had much, but the likelihood of him holding at least one face card was pretty good at this point. When he flipped over his cards, I was staring at A-K. Pretty gruesome. Fortunately, my luck held out, and I hit a 10 on the flop, and neither of us connected with the rest of the cards dealt on the board. Lucky, yes, but next time, I want to make more of a concerted effort to avoid these kind of risky plays.

In retrospect, I think my bet was probably the right amount. It was enough that it represented a respectful portion of Graham's chips, but not so much that it made him pot committed if he didn't hit anything on the flop. Additionally, if I had only bet 200, I think it would have been too little, and given him too much incentive to call, thus negating the first purpose of my bet.

I guess the thing I want to work on the most in my game right now is heads up play. There's really no way to do this save for stopping myself from splitting every pot I end up vying for in order to maximize the odds of coming out at the end with a profit from playing. Heads up play is tricky, and the only way to improve at it is to keep doing it. Hopefully by next weekend, I'll have a few more experiences gained from doing exactly that, and we'll see what needs to be tweaked.

I've been playing squash like a muhfuggah lately, and gradually (very gradually) I'm seeing improvements where I want to see them. There's still a couple of things I really need to work on, and they're getting presented for your reading pleasure right below!

• Don't lean into the direction I think the ball might be going

The last time I played Jeff, he kept sneaking crosscourt shots past me. This was happening for two reasons. Part one is that I would lean in one direction, expecting him to return the shot there. This isn't a bad habit when the opponent is making what looks to be a guaranteed boast shot up to the front corner, but sucks ass when the shot could be played any number of ways. The looser the shot, the more cemented I must be to the T.

• Keep my eyes on the ball

And I thought I was doing so well... Rule number one in squash, aside from the other five rule number one's that I've listed, is to always keep your eyes on the ball. If you're the sort of player that stares at the front wall waiting for your opponent to make his shot, by the time you realize where the ball is going, it's going to be too late. This is the other reason Jeff kept blasting shots past me - I've fallen back into the habit of watching the ball to a certain point, then ignoring it. Watch the ball right up until the point that it flies off the opponent's racquet.

• Work on developing shots that are high and soft and can be made out of the back corners.

I currently have one move when I find the ball in the front corner - the power boast. And by power boast, I generally mean a boast that flies up high and into the center of the court. Developing a back-corner wrist flick gives me two options, and puts an end to the opponent placing themselves exactly where the ball is going to go.

That is all for now. Horray.

After a couple of slow nights, I've had a couple of really good nights. First off, I've noticed that my style of play is very aggressive. This is a good thing, provided I'm playing a tight game. When I have a good hand, aggressive play is a good thing. It means that I'll get a lot of money in the pot when I've got the best of it, and maximize the amount of money that I'm pulling in.b

However, this is certainly a bad thing when I'm playing loosely. To be a good aggressive player, you need to be tight. That is to say, you need to make sure that you play only good hands, and respect your position at the table.

Given that, here are some things I'd like to work on in the future:

• Tighten up my hand selection

Yah, yah, I already mentioned this. This is my number one problem right now. When I'm drawing decent hands, I'm playing well. But, in order to minimize the amount of money that I'm losing, I need to avoid getting myself sucked in to playing hands that aren't premium. Actually, premium isn't the right word, but I really need to make sure I'm playing hands that are good, relative to my position, and that I'm getting out the instant they don't connect with the board.

This means I don't really want to be playing anything lower than cards like 9-8s, 8-8, Q-10s, or A-J when I'm under the gun. If I have middle position, I don't want to play anything worse than 5-5, K-10, or J-8s. In the late positions, I can get away with playing weaker hands, but should still be mucking things like 9-5, 10-4, J-7s, and K-9.

• Quit falling into the trap of playing A-x.

This is really just an extension of the last point. Ace is a good card, and this hand isn't the worst thing to get when I'm playing short-handed, but it's just way too easy to get sucked in with it. For example, consider a starting hand of A-9 (offsuit). If the flop comes up K-9-2, I have a pair, but one that is easily dominated by a higher pocket pair, or a pair of kings (quite likely in a game with many players). Maybe I think to myself that I can draw to an ace, and win the hand with top pair. But that's a weak hand to be drawing to (and consequently, wasting more money if my opponents are good), and if I'm up against a hand like A-K, my hand is dominated, and I'm drawing dead. If the flop comes up with something like A-2-6, I have the top pair, but my kicker is really weak, and I can't bet with enough confidence. It's better to muck hands like these straight off the bat if I don't have position, or, if on the button, to play them and get rid of them as soon as I don't hit something like two pair off the flop. If it helps, try to think of the ace as a king, and try to imagine what I'm hoping to flop that would allow me to bet with confidence. Does my position allow for that? Go from there.

• Try to avoid bluffing as much as possible

Bluffing just doesn't seem to be the weapon that I once thought it was. Unless I have position and can sense a lot of weakness from everyone else, bluffing is a great way to lose a lot of chips, and really isn't worth it. Semi-bluff now and then, and for the rest of the time, just play smart poker, value-betting when I have what is likely the top hand, and getting out without losing too much money the rest of the time.

So those are the three main goals for the next couple of weeks: Tighten up hand selection, don't fall into the A-x trap, and bluff less.

In related news, I bought a book called Poker - The Real Deal, written by Phil Gordon. I've seen Phil Gordon play a couple of times on the World Poker Tournament, and I like his style. The book is well written, reads easily, and offers good advice. You can probably find most of this stuff strewn throughout the internet, but I don't care to take the time to track it all down. Phil also mentions a lot of other good poker books, and what you can expect to gain from each of them - I find this sort of thing really helpful when I want to expand my knowledge in a certain area, and it's nice to get recommendations from someone that obviously knows what he's talking about. If anyone is looking for a good place to start, I'd recommend this book.

It's been a while since my last squash journal, partially because I didn't get a chance to play too much squash over the holidays. Most of the people that I usually play with had gone home for the holidays, or were spending their time with their families.

However, in the past week and a half, I've played four games or so, and attended a really great tournament, so I've got some thoughts to write about now.

First, the tournament - As I've improved at squash (and I think I have been), my appreciation of good (and bad) squash has changed significantly. It reminds me of when I started spinning records - when I first started getting into electronic music, and going to raves, I had very little ability to discern between the different styles of music I was hearing. They all blended together and sounded the same. Then as time progressed, I started to pick out various genres, and learned what I liked and disliked. Until I started spinning, the differences I noticed between one DJ and another were solely based on their taste in music. Once I started spinning records, I began to realize the difference between a good mix and a bad mix, and REALLY started to realize how bad (and good) some of these DJs were.

I think any refined art/sport is like this. When I'm at a bboy competition (which doesn't happen too often anymore), I notice that some of the people there are totally impressed with big moves, and nothing more. The dancer that does the biggest flip is the best. Clean and simple. But for me, I'm analyzing how he worked that flip into the rest of his dance. Was he actually dancing to the music? How well did he isolate that move? How well was it executed?

So let's try and bring this back to squash. I saw a lot of really well played squash on Friday. At its core, squash is a very basic game. The strategy itself can even be broken down into one very simple rule to follow: Put the ball where the opponent isn't. Over and over. Until he has a heart-attack and you win. Putting that strategy into action is an entirely different matter, and requires great skill. Being able to reliably hit the ball, over and over, into the back corners of the court requires a lot of practice and dedication.

Anyhow, perhaps due to the simplicity of squash's basics, well-played squash is very aesthetically pleasing to watch. The tournament had shot after shot that arced gracefully into the back corner, only to have a return made to the exact same spot. Seriously, it was insane - I saw a guy that would beat me soundly almost lose to a girl that was about twelve years old, and he definitely had her beat for pure power. Seeing these shots made me want to grab a racquet and jump on a court, even if it meant playing in loafers. I plan to enter the next tournament, which is called the Club Champs tournament. Might be a bit of a misnomer in my case, but that's alright - the practice will be good.

Aside from the tournament, I've been slowly improving. Here are a couple of things that I want to keep in the main queue:

• Keep working on high soft shots.

These shots keep getting better and better. When the ball arcs into the back corner, rather than following a path straight back to it, it leaves a lot less room for the opponent to make his shot. Not only that, but this shot is almost guaranteed to move the opponent off the T everytime. They can't really cut this shot off if it's done properly, since it travels back too high in the air. Best of all, this shot always seems to frustrate opponents, and that's never a bad thing.

Never forget - low and hard when the opponent is out of position, high and soft when they're waiting on the T

• Undercut drop shots, and start making them from mid-court.

The more I can undercut the ball, the better my drop shots are. Undercutting the ball imparts downspin to it, and causes it to bounce less and stick closer to the front wall after it first comes into contact with it. This means that I can execute drop shots from further back in the court, and this is a good thing. Of course, dropping from mid-court is only a smart move when my opponent is behind me and out of position - a good rule of thumb is that you never want to send your opponent up to the front unless he's going to have to be running to get there.

The other day was the first time I succesfully undercut a shot, but it accomplished the desired purpose. Keep this in mind while playing, and try and make the shots more. Don't worry so much about a shot that hits the tin, or goes out - consider it practice towards making better drop shots.

• Improve the lobs

I noticed today that I'm still not getting under my lob shots enough. For a good lo shot, I should have my racquet underneath the ball, almost parallel to the floor. A good lob really needs to arc up and come close to hitting the ceiling. Don't worry if they hit the ceiling for now - that's better than having them travel too low and getting nailed by my opponent. Again, focus on getting the technique right, rather than winning the point.

Those are the main focal points I plan to work on over the next couple of weeks. My drives feel like they've improved significantly over the past two months - they don't come off the wall on the full nearly as much, and they're sticking a lot closer to the side wall, and that's made playing squash 0.5 percent less frustrating everytime I play.

Alright, I just finished setting up some statistics software for this site so that I can determine precisely how many people are reading these entries. At first I was both shocked and amazed because I was showing about five-hundred hits a day. That's a lot of hits. Then I noticed that most of those hits were for the file mt-comments.cgi - that's the file that is called whenever someone wants to leave a comment.

Guess which file spambots try and get when they want to leave valuable information for the rest of us about the twenty garzilliion different websites you can go to to see naked telletubies? That's right: mt-comments.cgi. So I've changed the name of that file and all references to it, and am just about to start blocking any incoming requests for it. You know, I hate to be a hardass, but when the player-hatah 'bots out there try to wreck my game, I gotsta get back on them, mackin' style.

I checked out some of the squash tournament yesterday, and saw some really good, really inspiring squash being played. I'll be posting another entry today about that, and about why it was inspiring - Right now I'm heading out to Langford for a bit with Bay, then to Bolen books to spend a gift certificate I got for Christmas. Not really sure what books I want to get yet, but I've heard nothing but good things about The Pragmatic Programmer, and looking at my business card, it turns out I do some programming. I've applied deductive reasoning here to determine that this book may, in fact, apply to me.

If it's worth the time, I'll be writing a review of the book after I've finished it. I'm sure everyone will be thrilled when I get around to doing that.

Posse out.

I just got back from a session of gaming at my friends Carmen and Graeme's new house. They finished building the place a few months ago, and it looks fantastic. I used to work for Carmen when I was going to UVic - my first co-op job was with her, and she ended up keeping me on part-time throughout a good chunk of my time at UVic. I was really lucky to get hired by Carmen, not only because of everything I learned when I was working with her, but because she gave me a lot of opportunities, was an awesome boss, and is still a person that I'm really glad to be able to call a friend. I don't think you can say that too often about people that you work with.

Actually, maybe I'm wrong or just lucky, because I happen to work with an extremely cool group of people, and enjoy hanging out with them during and after work. I work with Graeme now (he's one of the partners for my company), and so I still get to see him now and then, though not as much as I'd like, as we don't work on the same project team, and it's not as easy to relax and have fun at work when you're on a five minute break from your work as it is when you're battling as adversaries in a thrilling game of ELFENLAND (disclaimer: elfenland does not have in any way anything to do with elves, and cannot be held responsible for persons drawing the conclusion that there are elves involved).

Anyhow, I mostly wanted to throw this entry in here so that I could keep track of what I have planned to do over the weekend. I love having a bunch of things to get done over the weekend - it keeps me motivated, gives me a sense of accomplishment at the end of Sunday, and keeps my mind working.

• Check out the squash tournament at Victoria Squash Club

My squash club is having a tournament - I'd mentioned in one of my last entries that one of my goals for squash this year was to have participated in at least two tournaments by this time next year. However, I just don't feel like I'm quite ready to start that yet, and additionally, as this tournament is a fundraiser, you have to pay an extra ten to fifty cents every time you hit the ball out. I'm only just starting to properly learn how to make soft high shots, and I'd say about fifty percent of my attempts end up being out, so this tournament would cost me about seventy-five dollars to play in. Just a little bit too rich for my blood.

• Implement linked DVD items in the manifest application

My friend Amr at work borrowed my manifest code, because he wanted the same functionality. He pointed out to me that one of the things that is missing is the ability to link various movies to the same single piece of media. For example, if I want to have Teen Wolf Part 1 and 2 as seperate entries, I'd essentially have to loan them out twice - one for each movie (since they're both on the same disc, if someone borrows one, they bother the other). Ideally, I'd like to implement the ability to link movies together, so that once you've linked an item, you can loan any one of the parts out and have them all marked as loaned out (as well as have the history marked as loaned out for all of them). Additional functionality will include showing items that share a link with an item when viewing the history, and providing a link to those items from the history (this is all stuff that most users don't see).

I still have to put some thought into how I want to design this feature - there's a couple of snags that could catch me in the future if I'm not careful (I've seen this happen all too many times). However, hopefully I can have this ready to go by Sunday evening

• Begin coding the music section of the manifest

I'm not happy enough with just movies and TV shows, I'd also like to code in support for showing music files. Since music files are typically all saved on a hard-drive, it shouldn't be too hard to read the drive and immediately store all of the entries that are currently present. Then I can have those displayed if I want. I already have something similar to this on my music stream (which allows me to listen to my mp3s from any computer connected to the internet, sort of like my own personal internet radio station), so I'm not sure how far this idea will go. We'll have to see about this one.

• Buy a new CD Wallet

Nothing major here, I just like keeping everything organized and it's time I got a new CD wallet

• See if I can create a transparent tool bar for Windows XP

I have Winamp set up so that it is always on top and stays at the top middle of my screen. In addition to that, it's only visible when I hover my mouse over it (the rest of the time it is only ten percent transparent). I find this incredibly useful - I always have access to it without having to search for an icon at the bottom of the screen, click it, then move my mouse back to wherever winamp opened up. I'd like to get more of this kind of functionality set up on my desktop - it sounds dumb, but it's really quite efficient, and I love making things more efficient.

I know that Windows allows you to create custom toolbars with whatever you want in them, and I'd like to do something like that, but have it hover on the left middle side of my screen, and become opaque only when I hover over it. If making this work requires installing another program, I'd be willing to do that, provided it's not going to eat up tons of my memory. If anyone knows off-hand of an easy way to accomplish this, please let me know. Otherwise, I'll post my results when I've got it working.

That about covers things up. I have at least two more entries that are coming, both of them related to poker. Graham has started posting his thoughts on poker games as well, and as he plays with me, that might provide a semi-balanced view of how things are working out, if anyone actually cares. I don't care whether you care or not, I'm going to write about it either way. I've also fixed the last dance video I created, with Shaun's help (thanks again Shaun) using VirtualDub. The links I provided in my entries have been updated, and now the video is only 3.5MB in size, instead of 35. If anyone needs functionality to edit videos, I highly recommend VirtualDub. It's free and easy. If anyone has questions about editing videos, I highly recommend Shaun. He's not free, but he's definitely cheap and easy.

This is actually the fifth poker journal I've written, but I haven't yet posted the other three that I wrote in the interim. Those will come up sometime soon.

In the meanwhile, I've noticed that I'm starting to play both a little too cautiously. Actually, the problem isn't that I'm playing too cautiously, it's that I'm having great difficulty getting good reads on players. I'm not exactly sure what the best means to improve this is, other than to attend some other poker games, and possibly some tournaments, and try and see other players in action, which will hopefully give me more insight into how other players operate.

Practicing with Graham, I was able to get an accurate read on the hand he was playing a little over fifty percent of the time. This isn't too bad, but it wasn't too great either. I'd like to be able to bump that up to about seventy-five percent.

One of the things that I really need to concentrate on is watching how other players are betting based on the size of their stacks. Generally speaking, I think that the more chips someone has sitting in front of them, the more likely they are to play loosely, and thus the more likely they are to be bluffing. This isn't true for everyone, but it's something I need to watch for and try to get a read on. The next time I go out to play, I have the following goals set out for myself:

• Every time someone raises before the flop, make a mental note of it, and try to place them on a certain hand. If the hand goes to showdown, see what it was that they had, and make a note of that.
• Keep a count of how many times each player goes to a showdown.
• At least once, call a bet that I think I'm likely to lose on, just so that I can see what the opponent is betting against me with. Don't worry about the money that it'll cost.

Nothing too big here this time, just some general rules to follow to try and get my game on the track that I want it. Hopefully observing these things will help me figure out.

I'll update this journal on Thursday after my game.

Alright, installment two of the dancing journals. I've been trying to set aside time to practice my popping/boogaloo and locking foundations lately, because I've come to the conclusion that I'm totally unsatisfied with what I've currently got. Well, not totally unsatisfied, I mean, sometimes I can watch videos I've made and see things I really like, but, I feel that I could be a much more dynamic dancer, and have far more range and breadth if I had a better established set of foundations.

There's a reason why foundations are so important, and I just finished briefly discussing this with my friend Shaun. Dancing is about moving to the music. Good dancing should be spontaneous and dynamic. It doesn't look good to have a preset routine that you go out and do. This is the trouble with a lot of poorer quality breakdancers that I see in our nightclub/rave scene. They have two moves they've worked on, then they go into a circle, do those two moves without any acknowledgement to the rhythm of the music, and then get up and exit the circle.

Strong foundations provide a dancer with the pallette from which to draw his creative interpretations of the music. This reminds me of an anecdote - Shaun and I were at a nightclub in town, and Shaun asked me what the secret was to all of the small little moves that I do - how do you make them look cool like that? This is foundations at work. By learning to pop correctly, and to properly isolate the different parts of my body, I can combine those however I like when dancing. This is why foundations are so important. Learning specific moves is fine and good, and definitely looks impressive, but without correct foundations, it's impossible to put together anything that is dynamic.

So that's the why/what, but what about the how? Well, for now, I'm focusing on the most basic of movements. That's the fresno, as I mentioned last entry. Within the fresno, I can practice all of the main points to hit on my body, without adding anything else. When first learning and practicing to hit, it is really important to use something like the fresno as your basis. The first and foremost reason is that above all, you're dancing. Even if working on the most basic technique, there still needs to be some kind of element of dance involved with that practice, and this is what the fresno provides. I, and I suspect most people, find myself swaying back and forth to the beat of music whenever I hear it. This is basically what the fresno is. Sway to the left, hit. Sway to the right, hit.

So, my ultimate goal while working on my fresno is to be able to get my hits strong and tight enough they are visible on these videos. Right now, it's really difficult to see any special kind of motion to the fresno that I'm doing. It basically just looks like I sway to the left, stop, then sway to the right. Ideally I should be imparting the illusion that my body is stopping very suddenly, and right on the spot. As I improve, hopefully, it'll become more apparent that there is in fact a visual component to the start and end of each sway/motion.

The video I have for this entry is really just me screwing around with some of my foundations so I can get a feel for what I'm missing. As I mentioned before, I'm not able to hit as hard as I would like. I also neglect popping my legs about ninety-five percent of the time, which greatly reduces the effectiveness of a given hit. Given that, the things I would most like to focus on over the next couple of weeks are training myself to pop my legs, get my chest more involved in my hits, and improving my waves throughout my left-hand side (actually, just in general).

View the video here. I apologize for the fact that it is flipped ninety degrees. I figured I'd be able to fix this, but seem unable to find anything that will easily allow me to accomplish this feat. If you know how to do it, leave me a comment. I will be forever indebted to you (actual duration of indebtment is closer to five minutes).

Confused? Maybe this will help:

Hit

Hits are just the tensing of muscles that a popper does at the start/end of every motion. If you look closely, you may be able to see a distinct visual aspect to my movements in the above video, but not quite be able to put your finger on what is causing that. That's a hit. Let's say I want to move my arm from shoulder height down to my waist. The motion is actually composed like this: Tense all muscles in my arm, then release them (this is done very quickly). Move arm. Stop moving arm. Tense all muscles in arm, then release (again, done very quickly). If you can't see this, it's not because you have a disorder or something, it's because I'm not particularly good at making my hits as strong as they should be.

Waves

Waves are exactly how they sound: giving the appearance of a wave travelling through your body part. For a wave to look good, you should isolate each body part as much as possible. The best analogy I can think of is the following: Imagine a crowded football stadium, where all of the fans are doing the wave. Would it look better if the stadium was divided up into four sections, and each section stood up/sat down one after the other, or if there stadium was divided up into sixty-four sections, each standing up/sitting down one after the other. This is isolation - the more points at which you can isolate your body, the better the wave will look. My waves, on the whole, are quite poorly isolated, and it's something I hope to improve over the next couple of months.

That's all for now, check back later for more boring videos and thoughts on my progress.

Alright, I'm kicking off a new category, because the blog has really taken on more of a bloggy feel for me lately.

As much as I'd love to keep writing parodies of ridiculous articles from MSN and other internet sources, I've come to the realization that I no longer have the five hours that it would roughly take me to write one. That sounds like an exaggeration, but it really isn't. During the eight months that I was working for my professor at UVic, being mostly unchallenged, and given menial tasks, my day would consist of the following:

• Coming into work, poking around online for an article that would parody well (30-60 minutes)


• Rewriting the article and adding my comments to ensure a good dose of hilarity (90-180 minutes)


• Proof-reading what I've written (5-30 minutes)


• Posting the article, which included uploading any photos I'd used, ensuring all of my links were active and went where they should, and re-reading the article one last time to make sure that at least I laughed out loud once while reading it (10-30 minutes)

Interspersed throughout that would be the actual work I would do, but since most of what I was doing was designing and building websites, or something along those lines, I really didn't need to devote a lot of time to that (in all fairness I think my professor meant well, but just didn't really have a clear action plan for the project she wanted to put me on).

So anyhow, adding up the time required there, you can see that I'm looking at a minimum of two hours everytime I set out to write a parody. Not only that, but sometimes I would get about halfway through writing one, and just decide/realize that it wasn't that funny. Once you get to that point, you either have to scrap everything you've done and start over, or go back through it and try to fun that shit up. Either one of those options basically meant I was dumping another hour minimum in my lap.

So, that being said, I really don't have that kind of time at my disposal anymore, at least, not if I want to continue dedicating time to my other hobbies as well. The gist of the long boring story I've just finished telling is that although I want to keep writing in my blog, the main theme of it has had to change, at least temporarily. I guess now it's more of an online diary/journal, etc., though I like to think that at least I'm offering up thoughts that could be interesting to some people, rather than the verbal-diarrhea I see plastered on almost every livejournal I've read (The brand of baked-beans that most represents my personality is Strongman's Barrel o' Beefy Beans. Take the test and post what type of baked-bean brand represents you!), I feel somehow obligated to do everyone the favour of categorizing my entries so that they can skip over the parts they really don't care about, or tell quickly whether or not I have anything to say that interests them.

Goddamn, I can sure ramble on. Let's get to the point here: I've added a new category for entries titled Updates on me. Entries under this category really just pertain to what I've been up to, and the things I've been doing recently. Consider it a grab-bag (I love that word, because it's both a noun and a verb) of sorts, along with the Random Thoughts category (which tends to be entries that I consider to be more related to me getting up on a soap-box).

Okay, so, after that ten-page introduction, I can actually get to the point of the entry. I'm just coming down off a cold, the result of which I stayed home from work on Friday, and missed a poker game on Thursday. Because of that, my weekend has mostly consisted of sitting at home, sleeping, sitting on the couch, playing video games, and watching TV. I don't mind so much, because I find I need some time spent every now and then doing only that.

I watched and then bought Anchorman. Weird movie. As most of my friends know, I have a bit of an eclectic taste in movies, but definitely enjoy movies that pull off stupidity well. Anchorman is probably just over the line that I would normally draw.

Zoolander and Napolean Dynamite are, in my mind, perfect in the niche that I would assign them to, and pull off ridiculousness and stupidity perfectly. They don't get just plain retarded, or rather, if they do, they remain funny.

Anchorman has a lot of great quirks that I think fall into this niche - the dialogue at times is ridiculously cheesy, and the characters really feel like they think they're smooth (I love obliviousness and ignorance in movies and TV shows - Hence my standing record of having watched The Office in its entirety over three times this weekend). There are also some really great lines in the movie - here's a summarized example:

Time to musk up.

What cologne are you going to use? London Gentleman? Oh no wait - Blackbeard's Delight!

Nope. She's getting a special one. It's called sexual panther. I had to buy it off the black market. It's got real panther bits in it, so you know it's good.

Wow.

Yup. And, sixty percent of the time, it works everytime.

Baha, that's golden. I'm laughing out loud right now just thinking of that scene. Anyhow, the movie does cross the line at points - there's one scene where all the local news teams have a gladiator style battle - it just goes beyond the point of acceptable ridiculousness. I really wish I could determine exactly where that line is drawn - A gasoline fight in Zoolander works, but a gladiator combat in Anchorman doesn't. If I could figure that out, I could make millions in Hollywood as a consultant for writers and directors.

I was feeling a little better tonight, so I got up and practiced a bit of dancing, then video taped some popping that I've been working on. I'm having a really hard time getting my hits back to what I remembered them being, especially on my left side. This is really an incredibly frustrating thing about dancing - teaching your body to be ambidextrous. When learning something new, it's natural to practice with the right-hand side of my body, because I'm right-handed. Trouble is, once I've got that working well, it's like learning to walk all over again when I shift the focus over to my left-hand side. The secret is to practice both sides equally, but for some reason, I really can't seem to make myself do this enough. Anyhow, that video will be posted under the dancing category (but you can view it directly right here), along with my critique of what I'm doing, and a definition of what hits are in case anyone is wondering.

I should add that I'm a total bonehead, and recorded the video with my camera standing up vertically. For some reason I just assumed I'd be able to flip the video right way up after transferring it. Surprise! You can't. So if you want to watch it, you'll have to pivot your head ninety degrees to the right or left, your choice.

Alright, this is my first journal entry related to dancing. Squash and poker feel like they have more obvious elements upon which I have to practice - squash especially. As a result, it's a little more difficult for me to write about specific elements that I need to practice when it comes to dancing. However, I've managed to come up with a few foundation moves that I want to practice and improve upon, those are listed below, along with explanations, in case anyone else wants to learn with me (which is probably unlikely, but who knows).

Before proceeding, I should mention that popping and locking (and boogaloo, and botting, and waving, and all the other styles I'm into) definitely don't come easy. They require as much dedication as any other sport does, and it's probably fair to say that they require a good deal more finer muscular control than most sports (at least the ones I've played). The good part is that this muscle control can be learned - it's not necessary that you be born with it - the only part that is difficult to pick up through sheer practice is rhythm. There's not a lot that you can do to teach yourself rhythm, save perhaps sitting down with your music player that has a visualization for the beat, and trying to clap the beat to yourself, then checking to see if you've got it right.

Anyhow, like I said, these dance styles require practice to get down, but can definitely be learned if you're willing to put in the time. The added benefit of the time put into learning is that even picking up one move gives you something that you can throw into your everyday dancing (if you're the kind of person that does everyday dancing), or bust out once in a while when you're at home by yourself.

So, the moves I'm working on right now are:

• The Fresno

This is a pretty basic looking move, but has depth to it that is not immediately obvious. First of all, you raise your left arm, and pop your left arm, left side of your chest, and left leg. Then, do a slight bob across to your right side, and do the same thing: pop your right arm, right side of your chest, and right leg. These all sound super basic (definition of popping given below), but are anything but. See the definition of popping to get an idea for exactly what is being done with this move.

• Proper locking points

Locking is the second dance style that I'm working on. Part of locking is composed of points, and poses that involve points. Points are exactly what they sound like: pointing in a direction with your hand. However, for a point to look good, your arm and hand must line up to form a straight line. Sound easy? Videotape yourself doing a point in a random direction with your left hand, or even stand in front of a mirror, close your eyes, and throw out a point quickly and hold the pose. Open your eyes or review the videotape. Your hand and arm probably aren't forming a straight line. It's these little nuances that make dancing well difficult. The details really do make a difference when it comes to the funk styles.

Okay, and now for the definitions:

• Funk Styles

The funk styles are composed of a number of dancing styles and substyles. Some of these including popping, boogaloo (which are often/usually combined together) and locking. Within the styles of popping and boogaloo, there are styles like waving (giving the appearance of waves travelling through the dancers body), botting (dancing and moving like a robot), tutting (dancing similar to the old school movements bugs bunny would do when mimicking Egyptians), and many more. Funk styles are given their name from the fact that they developed in response to old school funk music. Funk styles actually came about earlier than breakdancing did, but are often lumped together under the same name. If anyone wants a really good example of what some of the funk styles look like, I have a number of DVD and VHS movies that I can lend out - just ask.

• Popping

Popping is given its name because of the popping motion you make with your muscles at each point in the dance. A really good popper should look like their entire body is flexing everytime they stop moving. Hold out your arm, and flex every muscle in it. It's actually pretty difficult to do until you've trained your muscles to make this motion - your body is normally used to using the muscles to move your limbs in various directions, rather than to quickly flex on the spot.

One of the things that is important when popping properly is to isolate the parts of your body. For example, when doing the fresno, (I believe) you want to only pop the side of your body that you're stepping into. If you're bobbing to your right, you want to pop your right leg, and right arm and chest muscles. For a better definition of what popping is, head over to Michi's site. He breaks down exactly what you're doing during the process of a pop, along with the correct way to pop the various parts of your body.

• Locking

Locking is a dance that looks very much like those toys you used to be able to buy that would be connected with elastics, and were a character standing up. You'd press in the bottom of the toy, and the character would collapse (as all the tension was released from the elastics that were holding him up). Then, you'd release the bottom and the character would spring back into place. This is a really good way to think of locking - the dancer looks like they are going from being completely relaxed to rigid, then back again. It's a dance style that looks goofy and loose, as well as tight and precise. Capturing these elements all together is a difficult task. I've got a video of me doing a few locking moves that I'll put up in a little bit, but I'm really quite a poor locker at this point in my dancing progress, so this is not really a good indication of how the dance should look. Nevertheless, I'll have it up sometime later this week after I remove the really embarassing parts.

I'd made videos for most of the moves that I plan on working on, but I totally suck at them, so they're not going up. Once I'm able to properly do these moves, or at least be able to show some technique, I'll make videos and put them up. I've included a short video of me doing the fresno, solely to show what exactly it is I'm talking about. Unfortunately, the resolution of this move is poor, so it's hard to really see what's going on. In addition to that, if you saw the first video I put up, liked it, and are expecting this to be along the same lines - you'll be dissapointed. This is just repetitive practice, and mostly here for my sake. Nevertheless, this video can be seen here.

Well, the better part of my holidays are complete, which means it's back to work soon. At least I get Monday off, so it's a short work-week coming up. I love Mondays off - they're so much better than a Friday off. I'm not sure why, I think it just lessens the blow of coming back from a weekend.

I got a ton of things done over the holidays that I had set out to do:

• Network my two computers together using Samba
• Write and deploy the code for my DVD Manifest
• Make smaller changes to the site (categories, minor visual adjustments, etc.
• Watch Trading Places and Coming to America at least once each
• Get TV Tuner installed and working

There's a couple of other things that don't go on that list, like drinking beer from a glass boot, but I think that counts as an accomplishment nevertheless. I also got and setup a new nineteen inch LCD over the holidays, and let me tell you, it makes me a lot better than most of you people out there reading this entry from a disgusting CRT monitor.

So now that all of that is done, I need to find other things to keep myself occupied. Anyhow, that's all for now.