Weekend Progress...

Alright, I'm kicking off a new category, because the blog has really taken on more of a bloggy feel for me lately.

As much as I'd love to keep writing parodies of ridiculous articles from MSN and other internet sources, I've come to the realization that I no longer have the five hours that it would roughly take me to write one. That sounds like an exaggeration, but it really isn't. During the eight months that I was working for my professor at UVic, being mostly unchallenged, and given menial tasks, my day would consist of the following:

• Coming into work, poking around online for an article that would parody well (30-60 minutes)


• Rewriting the article and adding my comments to ensure a good dose of hilarity (90-180 minutes)


• Proof-reading what I've written (5-30 minutes)


• Posting the article, which included uploading any photos I'd used, ensuring all of my links were active and went where they should, and re-reading the article one last time to make sure that at least I laughed out loud once while reading it (10-30 minutes)

Interspersed throughout that would be the actual work I would do, but since most of what I was doing was designing and building websites, or something along those lines, I really didn't need to devote a lot of time to that (in all fairness I think my professor meant well, but just didn't really have a clear action plan for the project she wanted to put me on).

So anyhow, adding up the time required there, you can see that I'm looking at a minimum of two hours everytime I set out to write a parody. Not only that, but sometimes I would get about halfway through writing one, and just decide/realize that it wasn't that funny. Once you get to that point, you either have to scrap everything you've done and start over, or go back through it and try to fun that shit up. Either one of those options basically meant I was dumping another hour minimum in my lap.

So, that being said, I really don't have that kind of time at my disposal anymore, at least, not if I want to continue dedicating time to my other hobbies as well. The gist of the long boring story I've just finished telling is that although I want to keep writing in my blog, the main theme of it has had to change, at least temporarily. I guess now it's more of an online diary/journal, etc., though I like to think that at least I'm offering up thoughts that could be interesting to some people, rather than the verbal-diarrhea I see plastered on almost every livejournal I've read (The brand of baked-beans that most represents my personality is Strongman's Barrel o' Beefy Beans. Take the test and post what type of baked-bean brand represents you!), I feel somehow obligated to do everyone the favour of categorizing my entries so that they can skip over the parts they really don't care about, or tell quickly whether or not I have anything to say that interests them.

Goddamn, I can sure ramble on. Let's get to the point here: I've added a new category for entries titled Updates on me. Entries under this category really just pertain to what I've been up to, and the things I've been doing recently. Consider it a grab-bag (I love that word, because it's both a noun and a verb) of sorts, along with the Random Thoughts category (which tends to be entries that I consider to be more related to me getting up on a soap-box).

Okay, so, after that ten-page introduction, I can actually get to the point of the entry. I'm just coming down off a cold, the result of which I stayed home from work on Friday, and missed a poker game on Thursday. Because of that, my weekend has mostly consisted of sitting at home, sleeping, sitting on the couch, playing video games, and watching TV. I don't mind so much, because I find I need some time spent every now and then doing only that.

I watched and then bought Anchorman. Weird movie. As most of my friends know, I have a bit of an eclectic taste in movies, but definitely enjoy movies that pull off stupidity well. Anchorman is probably just over the line that I would normally draw.

Zoolander and Napolean Dynamite are, in my mind, perfect in the niche that I would assign them to, and pull off ridiculousness and stupidity perfectly. They don't get just plain retarded, or rather, if they do, they remain funny.

Anchorman has a lot of great quirks that I think fall into this niche - the dialogue at times is ridiculously cheesy, and the characters really feel like they think they're smooth (I love obliviousness and ignorance in movies and TV shows - Hence my standing record of having watched The Office in its entirety over three times this weekend). There are also some really great lines in the movie - here's a summarized example:

Time to musk up.

What cologne are you going to use? London Gentleman? Oh no wait - Blackbeard's Delight!

Nope. She's getting a special one. It's called sexual panther. I had to buy it off the black market. It's got real panther bits in it, so you know it's good.

Wow.

Yup. And, sixty percent of the time, it works everytime.

Baha, that's golden. I'm laughing out loud right now just thinking of that scene. Anyhow, the movie does cross the line at points - there's one scene where all the local news teams have a gladiator style battle - it just goes beyond the point of acceptable ridiculousness. I really wish I could determine exactly where that line is drawn - A gasoline fight in Zoolander works, but a gladiator combat in Anchorman doesn't. If I could figure that out, I could make millions in Hollywood as a consultant for writers and directors.

I was feeling a little better tonight, so I got up and practiced a bit of dancing, then video taped some popping that I've been working on. I'm having a really hard time getting my hits back to what I remembered them being, especially on my left side. This is really an incredibly frustrating thing about dancing - teaching your body to be ambidextrous. When learning something new, it's natural to practice with the right-hand side of my body, because I'm right-handed. Trouble is, once I've got that working well, it's like learning to walk all over again when I shift the focus over to my left-hand side. The secret is to practice both sides equally, but for some reason, I really can't seem to make myself do this enough. Anyhow, that video will be posted under the dancing category (but you can view it directly right here), along with my critique of what I'm doing, and a definition of what hits are in case anyone is wondering.

I should add that I'm a total bonehead, and recorded the video with my camera standing up vertically. For some reason I just assumed I'd be able to flip the video right way up after transferring it. Surprise! You can't. So if you want to watch it, you'll have to pivot your head ninety degrees to the right or left, your choice.