Well, the culmination of about 1.5 years worth of effort has happened, and I'm now officially married. The 1.5 years includes time spent with me starting to save up money to put towards an engagement ring, planning the proposal, going through with the proposal, and then planning for arounf ten months to get everything in order for the big day. Add in to that the fact that we bought a condo, and you've got a lot of action packed in there.

The ceremony went off without a hitch (unless you count some wayward tears on both Bay's and my faces as a hitch), and was the perfect length. Even though it was a catholic ceremony, it didn't drag on (an hour long mass would have been a bit tedious for a lot of our friends that aren't religious), and Father Swavek (the priest marrying us) was a pretty cool guy throughout the whole process.

The photos went really well, and the reception was a really great time. I didn't feel like I was being pulled in a direction I didn't want due to obligations, and I got to spend a good amount of time with all of my friends that were there. A number of people have told me that at their wedding they barely had time to do anything because they were so busy going around and thanking everyone and talking to people they didn't even know that well. Bay and I were close with pretty much everyone that was in attendance, and I never felt like I was neglecting one group of friends for another.

Writing out a summary of everything that happened strikes me as pretty boring, and would take a bunch of time to do. Instead, tonight, I'm just going to include the script that I wrote for my thank yous, and comment about any anomalies. If nothing else, it may be interesting for anyone reading to see how I prepare when giving a speech.

Alright, I've got a lot of thank yous to get out here, and, as most of you here know, I don't enjoy talking very much. So, if I speak in a monotone, no one laughs or coughs, and I take only three breaths, I think I can get through this in about 30 seconds.

[Deep breath]

Yup, that's right - I write notes about when to take specific actions if I'm hoping to get some laughter. Or just to help myself relax. The deep breath won't really do much for laughter - if people were willing to laugh, they'd do it at the end of my last comment about getting through it in under 30 seconds. What actually happened is that people chuckled - rather than take a deep breath, I jumped in and told everyone to cut it out. Horray for mild humour.

Worth mentioning is the fact that I didn't make a note of the pause after the obvious joke about me not liking to talk very much. I guess I just assumed I would know to pause there.

We don't usually get the opportunity to thank the people in our lives - we're busy, it usually comes off sounding sappy, and worst of all, there's often the expectation that the compliment we give be reciprocated. However, I've got the microphone, and I'm going to cut the cord when I'm done, so this is going to be sweet.

That's the initial light-hearted joking out of the way. Now I start to get into the actual thank yous.

I want to preface my thank yous by saying that I'm a firm believer that the people in our lives are a direct reflection of the people that we are.

We don't get a choice of who our family is, but that's not what's important - what's important is that those people have had a direct effect in shaping the people that we grow up to be. Our family are the fires and pressure that help forge the jewel that we grow into. And yes, I DID intend to refer to myself as a jewel there.

When I started writing the speech, I had the idea that I wanted to use some kind of metaphor to demonstrate the role that I feel our family and friends play in our lives. The metaphor of a diamond or some other kind of jewel seemed fitting, so that's what's going on here. Referring to myself as a jewel sounded a little arrogant to my ears, so I threw the joke in to lighten it up.

As we age and mature (or at least, as I do that), we start to meet and choose friends that resonate with us according to how we live our lives and what we believe in. Our friends are reflections of various facets of our lives, and people that affect our lives positively. We don't get to choose our family, but we do get to choose our friends. Yes, our friends also shape the way we grow and develop, though most of that happens after we've passed through our most formative years. However, I think that to a greater extent, our friends are the light shining through the facets of our personality, helping to reflect who, and what, we've become.

There's the other half of the same metaphor, though subtle - I only allude to it with the words "the light shining through the facets of our personality...". Anyhow..

So, in the interest of reducing our speeches to under 30 minutes, onwards!

I would like to thank...

* Mom, Lew and Rachelle

For bringing up Bay, and helping her to become the person that she is today. For welcoming me into your homes, your family, and your hearts. For trying to accomodate my picky tastes in food no matter how much we insist that you don't, and for letting me sit on your couch and read when I'm just not in the frame of mind to participate in conversation.

It's hard to thank your in-laws without sounding trite. I tried to make this personal to avoid that.

* Squash friends

For always being down for having a good time, and for putting up with my constant no-shows while planning for our wedding.

I wanted to thank all of my squash friends individually, but that would have taken too long. Plus, if I did that, it would have taken away from the importance of thanking my other friends. Not that I value one group of friends more than the others, but the rest of the people I wanted to thank had been in my life for a significantly longer amount of time, and thus played more of a role

* Jay

Jay for continuuing to defy my expectations and helping to broaden my horizons.

Jay's the newest men's club member, and a great guy. I wanted one more sentence here, but those two items are definitely significant.

* Davin

Davin for being one of the most understanding guys I know, a constant source of inspiration, and a kindred spirit in appreciating the beauty of the world around us.

I didn't thank Davin for MCing the event, though that would have been a good move as well. He definitely helped bring the entire reception together into a copacetic event, and kept the ball rolling smoothly.

* Davey

For never requiring me to explain myself, and for understanding synnergy on a level very few people do. For laughing with me at the stupidity of life, and the stupidity of the people around us. No, that's not a thinly-veiled comment about anybody here.

I think Bay might have been worried that this would be taken as an insult by some people, but I feel it was a pretty safe joke, especially given that I'm explicitly stating that I'm NOT commenting on anyone there. If someone still wants to think I'm attacking them after that, well, I can only cover so many bases. At some point you just have to stop trying to please everyone.

* Adam

For teaching me the joys of the wee Dram, for getting me into as much trouble as I get you into, and most importantly, and I can't stress this enough, for being an honor to share a name with.

It's hard to thank Adam for specific things. The easiest thing to say would be that I never have a bad time hanging out with him, but that might end up inferring that I had less of a good time with other friends. Adam's just one of those guys that is a great partner in crime. Plus, added bonus, he's the other half of Team Adam (seriously, get yourself a friend with the same name - it's good shit).

* Graham

For sticking beside me through all of the good and the bad. For putting up with my quirks and moods, and sharing in so many of the good times. For teaching me what friendship is all about. For never giving up and rising to all of the challenges that face us in life.

Graham is the easiest one to thank, since he's been there the longest. Being friend's with me the longest means that he's been through the most with me, and has put up with the most of my shit. It's a testament to our friendship that we're still buddies after all this time.

* Brendan

Brendan for the fact that you never stop making me look bad, and giving me a reason to keep working out. For teaching me that I'm not the only person in the world, and for making it necessary that I learn the concept of sharing.

May sound silly, but my brother is definitely a good foil to me. He accentuates the areas in my life where I could improve, and helps me appreciate my own strengths. He and I don't talk often, and have a relationship that is not as warm as many familial relations are. Nevertheless, I have a great deal of respect for him, and this was an attempt to articulate that. The working out bit sounds kind of stupid, in retrospect. I think I improvised and cut that bit out when I was speaking.

* Mum

Mum, for teaching me sensitivity, and compassion. For teaching me that it isn't worth doing things in life if you're not willing to do them all the way. For teaching me not to take anything for granted - not friends, not family, and not life. For teaching me to always put myself first, except when it's time to put others first.

* Dad

For teaching me how to laugh, both at myself, and at everyone else, and most importantly, for teaching me how to make others laugh. For teaching me that living life doesn't have to be that difficult, and for teaching me that if you want to live life right, it's worth it when it IS that difficult. For teaching me to be true to myself first and foremost.

* Mum and Dad

For teaching me that the journey is what matters in life, not the destination. For teaching me how to love, and for living with me through all of the good and the bad moments. Yes, this is one of the good moments.

Thanking my parents was easy, and all of this was really just speaking from the heart. I could have gone on longer with ease, but that would have detracted from the other people I wanted to thank, and it also would risk boring people (and then as a result, detracting from what I wanted to say in the first place). For both of them, I wanted to make sure that I had something there that was somewhat contradictory, because that's the way life can be, and that's how we have to live our lives. Sometimes you really do have to put yourself first, but sometimes, you also have to put others needs before your own - life is all shades of grey, and there is very rarely a black/white decision.

Aside from myself, my Mum and Dad are the people most directly responsible for the way that I have turned out. You don't need to be articulate to thank your parents - just think about the things you like about yourself. You can bet that they played a role in shaping and developing those traits.

* Bay

And Bay! For sharing with me in the lessons that life has to offer. For sharing with me in the joy of learning, and for being my partner to discover the world with. Thank you for teaching me new ways to learn, and new ways to appreciate the world around us.

Thank you for being beautiful in a way that will only continue to grow and develop as we age together. For keeping me honest when I most need it, and for being willing to tell me when I'm being a jerk.

Maybe it's stupid to thank your wife for being beautiful, but this not just empty rhetoric on my part. I really do see in Bay a beauty that only goes stronger as she learns more self-confidence. She's young in many ways that transcend age, and that's a quality that I value incredibly highly. If you think I'm being superficial thanking her for this, then you didn't really understand what I'm thanking her for.

Thank you for your courage, your strength, and your compassion. For working with me to make it through the tough times that require the strength of two people, and for sharing with me in the joyous moments that would be too much for just one person to cherish.

Thank you for forgiving me later when I step on your toes, and thank you for being the reason that this wedding actually happened.

Thank you, for being my wife.

And that's that. Bay and I head off to Bali soon, and after that, Hong Kong. It'll definitely be a welcome break after such a busy past year.

In other news, I played my squash league game tonight and really sucked. I haven't written any squash journals in quite some time, and that's largely due to the fact that I haven't had any time to take lessons. However, our hotel in Bali has a squash court in it, which will be a good morning workout (I don't want to go on vacation only to put on 20 pounds), and I plan to re-dedicate myself to those once I get back from the honeymoon, so look for that to start up again.

It's been a while since I've been able to find time and inspiration to write a blog entry. There are many reasons for that, but the two most obvious, indisputable ones are that I'm getting married in just under two weeks, and that I suck ass at writing unless I'm inspired.

Fortunately, I've got a slight break in the clouds and the stars have aligned. I've got time to sit down and actually type something up, and the past few weeks have provided lots of inspiration to write about. It's probably easiest just to iterate over each of those little tidbits of inspiration and talk about them.

• Dancing

My dancing inspiration has been at an all time high. My practice sessions with Steve are now a regular thing every Friday night, and Graham is now coming out and dancing with us as well, which is great. Graham is one of the most intuitive guys that I know when it comes to learning, so his insight into dancing is often at a totally different angle than my own, which is very technical.

Let me try and elaborate on those two terms I used. An intuitive learner is someone that picks up things seemingly just by watching them. They don't need to break something down into its specific parts - they just see it, in its essence, and learn from that. Intuitive learners are, to me, those jerks that can just watch someone really good and then start to mimic that. Intuitive learners are those people that you will ask questions like "how often do you practice?", or "how many lessons have you taken?", and they will tell you, "well, I never really took lessons".

Technical learners are people like me. We like to break things down into small units of detail that we can then practice and study. Once we've learned all of the little bits, then, and only then, it's time to put them back together to create the whole. For anyone technically inclined out there, it's almost like the difference between analog and digital. A truly good intuitive learner will always have that almost natural ability that is impossible to imitate for someone like myself operating on a very technical level. However, those of us that are technical learners are able to gain a much greater understanding of the very smallest bits of a given skill, and so in many ways (but again, not all ways) have what I believe to be a greater understanding of how something works. (Love it or hate it, there are pros and cons to both sides of the coin, and we have to accept that which we are).

So, anyhow, as I was trying to say, Graham has very different insights into my dancing that I would not normally think of during my technical approach. Additionally, as I continue to reflect, I've discovered that I learn a lot when I'm in the process of teaching. That doesn't really mean that I'm necessarily better than the person that I'm teaching, but everytime I need to explain something to someone, I gain a better understanding of it myself. Dancing with my friend Steve, who was initially a breaker, and is now picking up popping (a much better choice as we continue to age) has given me lots of opportunities to break down and explain to him how to make a given technique work, and in doing so, I have learned how to do it better myself.

The ultimate goal for the end of this year is to teach a brief dancing tutorial at the Victoria Electronic Music Festival when it rolls around next year. Hopefully I can get some people to help me with that - I think Graham would provide a good foil to my mostly technical approach. As an aside, you can see the most technical person I've ever known dancing by heading over to my friend Michi's website. I've never met someone as focused as Michi is, nor who learns as technically as he does. His technical ability is almost a hindrance to his progression due to the fact that he creates such a strong focus that he starts to lose sight of the greater picture (the sum of the parts is greater than the whole...)

• Night-club waltzing

So, in addition to my weekly Friday sessions with Graham and Steve, Bay and I have been taking weekly dance lessons on Saturday to learn how to dance for our first dance. This style of dance is colloquially called The nightclub waltz.

Ever since I started dating Bay, I've always wanted to take dance lessons with her. Part of the problem has been timing, part of it has been laziness, and part of it has been the way we learn. What's that? The way we learn? Yup.

See, Bay is an intuitive learner, and a good one at that. She learns by feeling, and when she feels, she feels the whole. She sees a dance style and understands it without needing to break things apart like I do. (I should interject here to mention the fact that I would consider myself somewhere between the middle point of being technical and intuitive and Michi, whereas I would place Bay in the position of still being somewhat technical, but definitely more inclined towards intuitive).

So, what that means is that Bay has always wanted to go out and take lessons with me, but those lessons are more akin to "If we go out tonight, we can get a 1 hour dance lesson free, and then they open the dance floor to everyone and you can just do whatever". See, to me, that's a death sentence. I need to see a move, be shown how to do it, and then be given the opportunity to practice it over and over until I've committed it to memory. "Sure", you say, like a jerk, "you can just do that once they open the dance floor". No I can't - there's nothing worse for me than sitting on the dance floor with a bunch of people being awesome and me practicing one single move over and over.

Anyhow, Bay tracked down lessons that we could take weekly at the YMCA and signed us up, which is rad. If I have one piece of advice that I wanted to pass on to aspiring dancers of any style out there (and hopefully at least one person that appreciates popping has read this far), it is that you should never pass up the opportunity to take dance lessons, even if it's not the style you're interested in (although I still stand by my initial problem with taking a lesson for an hour and then dancing with awesome people afterwards).

Here's why. Every time I've taken a dance lesson, no matter what style of dance it's been, I've had revelations that have extended beyond the style that I've been taking a lesson for. Just this past weekend I was practicing at Steve's, and I suddenly realized something about my fresno that was directly the result of what I'd been taught taking our ballroom classes. This, to me, is the beauty of dance; good dancing transcends a given style. It represents an innate ability to understand your own body and to connect with the music. Whenever I hear someone dismissing a style of dancing, I always ask myself "is it the style that is illegitimate, or this person's ability to understand dancing?"

Anyhow, the dance lessons have been awesome and a lot of fun. Multiple times Bay and I have headed into the dance class, grumpy from wedding-planning-related (get to work, Hyphen!) arguments, and left the class remembering that we do, in fact, love one another. I cannot recommend dance lessons enough, and at any age. If you're young, start now - you'll be glad you did later on. If you're old, start now - you'll wish you had started when you were younger, but try to see that as a sign of how much you enjoy it now.

Bay and I actually received what we perceived to be a really nice compliment after our first class when the dance instructor came up to us at the start of the second class and said, "So, you guys have got a lot of dance background.. What types of dance?" I can't speak for Bay, but, being almost purely self-taught in the styles of dance that I pursue, and being recognized in this manner, this was one of the nicest compliments I have ever received regarding my dancing.

• Stag

When most people hear the word Stag, they assume any one or more of the following:

• Stripper(s)
• Crazy amounts of booze
• You're only single once
• What happens in Vegas/Wherever you currently are, stays in Vegas/Wherever you currently are
• etc.

Leading up to the last weekend, I had made a point of stating the fact that I wanted to keep things classy. Don't get me wrong here. I will admit that strippers have an appeal. It's a cheap, tawdry appeal that is not lasting, and is very objectified, but, it is an appeal nevertheless. However, cheap and tawdry appeal wasn't the way I wanted to remember hanging out with my friends before I got married.

So, all I was told was the time that we would be taking the ferry over to Vancouver, and what time we'd be heading back. People would keep saying things like, "Wow, your stag is going to be the bee's knees". (They didn't use terms like that, but I prefer to think of all my dialogue happening on old timey radio). I'd always counter by saying, "Well, I made a point of saying that I wanted to keep things classy", which always got countered with, "Well, if they listen to you".

Fortunately, my friends know that I'm a dick and would probably not have much fun if they dragged me to a strip-club. We headed over, and the first move was getting escorted by the Chief Steward Officer to the conference room (CSO is not a title that just anybody gets). In the conference room, my buddy Jay set up an espresso machine and made us all coffee, and the rest of the guys pulled out treats. We hunkered down and started drinking coffee, eating junk food, and playing some hard-core Magic.

What? Magic isn't cool? Suck it, it is when I'm writing about it in my blog. And if you're someone that went to Junior High School with me and remember thinking what a dork I was when you saw me playing it in the math classroom after school, well, guess what, I'm still a dork, but now I'm sitting inside the conference room on the ferry playing it, instead of Mr. Swagar's classroom. Shit, that sucked. Anyhow, we 'gicced it up right nice, and then headed into downtown Vancouver.

Actually we headed off the ferry and immediately started following maps that the guys had printed out. We made our way out to Burnaby, and stopped at one of the mecca's of Magic, Mishra's Game Factory. We got some beer because they weren't open yet, then headed in to pick up all of the Magic cards of our dreams. Once we had our gear in order, we headed back into town to check into our hotel.

After the shittiest drive ever (living in Victoria is way better. I don't care what anyone says), we made our way to the hotel. It was difficult not to let my eyes get drawn towards the fact that directly across from the hotel were offers of 99 cent pizza, and 25 cent peep shows. Why is it that peep shows are cheaper than food? All I'll say is that you never have to make the decision between your dongbone and sustenance in Victoria.

While checking in, we grabbed some drinks, and I laid down my one and only rule (aside from keeping it classy) - don't tell people that we're here for my bachelor party. People that understand me deeply know that even though I often end up being the center of attention, my real goal is to make everyone feel welcome, have everyone enjoy themselves, and keeping a good balance. As soon as an individual is told that it's my bachelor party, it becomes pretty hard to balance things out. I was here to have a good time with all of my friends, and that's all.

We headed up to our hotel rooms, got comfortable and played some Magic. When 7pm rolled around, we all classed our shit up, put on blazers, and headed out into the street. Davin had decided upon the restaurant, and it was a classy but intimate joint called Something something something. I actually can't remember the name, but it was pretty nice. The waitress and busser came over to chat a bit, but we busted them when they told us that they were from the island originally and had no facts to back that claim up with.

"Seriously, where is the second biggest hockey stick in the world??"

They were still pretty cool though, in spite of not knowing the deets about the island. We finished up dinner, and after the waitress brought us a list of bars to go and check out, we decided to go with our original decision of Yuks Yuks. Yah, that's right, I bolded it instead of putting it in italics. It's that intense.

Our attitude heading into the comedy club was summarized very well by my friend Davey: "Good comic: awesome. Bad comic: awesome". One way or another, we were going to laugh tonight. The only real question was whether it would be with the comedians, or at them.

The answer? At. Just the week before we left, I had gone and seen Russel Peters at the Royal Theatre here in Victoria, thanks to my friend Caroline's most righteous job at the box office there. I thought Russel Peters was pretty good, when I looked at how much he made me laugh. But then I went to Yuk Yuks. As soon as we headed down the stairs, we were greeted by a giant named James with at least seven elastics in his hair and a voice that said, "Screw throat lozenges". When we told him that we didn't have reservations, he responded with incredularity, however, what we didn't tell him was that we had something better than a reservation - we had my friend Davey. Davey suggested that he "Show James my ID" loudly and then made an obvious gesture of folding a 20 dollar bill around his ID and passing it off. Hey, look at that, it turns out there is room. Not only that, but there's a VIP booth for us!

James told us to sit down and relax until the early show finished, so we hung out and had a few beers. We chatted and relaxed, and then James gave his speech before we went in. My friend Jay, attending, is a member of Toast Masters International, so he's into public speaking. He thought fairly highly of James's speech, though I was less impressed. For those interested, some of Jay's points were that James dropped into the language that would hit his audience (I felt he would have done that every night, regardless of the audience - though maybe that reflects more on the clientèle of Yuk Yuks), and he used motion to release nervous energy, plus a few other points.

We got our seats and started diving into buckets of Sleaman's. The seats looked onto the side of the stage, and that was pretty rad, because I've never actually been in a comedy club, and, in spite of that, I consider myself a bit of a comedy afficianado.

Well, don't see any of the three comedians we saw if you consider yourself the same thing. The most interesting thing I noticed was that each of the comedians sucked in a different, but very similar, way. The first comedian was clearly the local comedian that was going to remain as such. For the rest of his life, or until his hair started to turn grey, he was going to be working here at Yuk Yuks. At lot of his humour revolved around pointing out people in the audience, and then making incredible obvious observations.

"Wow, you're old. What are you, like... 52?"

"And wow, you're young! What's the age difference between you two, like... 102?"

Just as an aside, and for those that look deep into comedy, he's doing a few things here. He's mentioning a specific number, like 102, instead of a thousand, because that's generally more powerful on the audience, and he's also making an obvious but somewhat reasonable embellishment about the difference in their age. For hacky comics, obvious but reasonable embellishment equals gilariousu! For people that understand humour, this same formula repeated throughout an entire act, with nothing else, actually equals suckbone. Needless to say, most of the crowd thought this guy was funny as all shit.

The next comic started out a little better (though interestingly enough, my friend Davin thought he was easily the worst of the three), but he quickly petered off. One or two masturbation jokes are funny, if only because they have shock value. Just make sure that they're not only funny because they have shock value. Oops. He started to lose his funny pretty quickly. Needless to say, most of the crowd thought this guy was funny as all shit.

The last comic was definitely the worst. Why? Let me tell you. Physically, he was short, stout, had glasses, was poorly dressed (as had been the last comic), and annoying. He also had an Irish accent (him being from Ireland was a significant portion of his act), and curly hair (not a significant portion of his act). My friend Davey summed it up best when I came back from the bathroom and he mentioned that "Everything this comic has said is unbelievable. He's already told us about him being stuck in a toilet stall because he was stoned. That never happened". Not only did none of this comic's material have believability, one of the most important facets of good humour, but it also just didn't matter.

Do you ever find yourself talking to someone that has stories that sound good, but in your head you think, "Okay, maybe that happened, but who really cares?". Well, that was this guy. All his stories were either unbelievable ("I got stoned and was locked in a bathroom stall because I couldn't figure out how to get out!" - No you didn't), who cares ("Isn't it annoying when you're in a bar with an Irish person, and the American beside you blah blah blah"), or both ("Check it out, I've got a lampshade on my head!!!!!!!1").

My friend Jay defended the fact that they were up there speaking, which I can respect, but that doesn't make a good standup comedian - that makes a good person that can stand up there and speak. And beyond that, really, it just means that someone isn't intimidated by standing in front of a bunch of people. Is that even really that big of a deal? I guess so, for a lot of people, but for me, you need to actually do something after you stand up.

I won't bother getting into any of the other reasons, although if someone writes a comment and is actually interested, I'll dive write in. I'm also interested to hear counter-points to my argument, because I really don't feel as though I'm the authority - I've just thought a lot about this particular avenue.

We headed back to the hotel and caught some Z's, then made our way back to the ferry and towards home, but not before a second trip to the beautiful BC ferry's conference room. I made it home safe, without any weird diseases, and with some pretty awesome memories. You really can't ask for more, and if I did, I wouldn't deserve it. I've got a pretty clutch set of friends, and this was the ideal weekend for me. I just wish we didn't have to wait for special events to do this kind of thing, but hey, maybe that's just one of the reasons that we have special events.

• Weirdos

Man, those weirdos! I've had an insane week at work, and reflection and the ability to unwind and laugh at life have played large roles in remaining sane and being myself. Reflecting on life is something that I always do (often too much), but laughing at life can sometimes be eased along by other people.

Well, what do you know, I was given the chance to laugh at life on Friday of this week, potentially one of the days when it would serve me best.

Early Friday morning, an e-mail arrived in my inbox to let me know that I had been requested as a friend for someone named Jacob Justice Beatification.

Now, in spite of having one of the most thoroughly dynamite names I've seen in a while, I didn't recognize him, nor his creepy picture. How do you react to these kinds of situations? You respond to their initial message, and see where things go:

Jacob Justice Beatification It's my brother from another mother!! what'up bitch?!?!

Okaaaaaaaaaaay... When someone you don't know hits you with a random mesage, you reply by forcing them into the uncomfortable role, rather than assuming it yourself (eg, "who are you?").

Adam Quiney [parsing facial logs] No match.

[parsing name logs]
No match.

[parsing speech mannerism logs]
No match.

K, I don't know you. Do you know me?

The onus is now on him to take the initiative, rather than on me to try and figure out who he is. He'll probably counter by pushing me to figure out who he is..

Jacob Justice Beatification yes. beer me.

I'll give you a hint, I'm from Syria.

See, he's trying to push for me to accept the role of trying to figure out who he is by getting me to guess. I'll just diffuse the situation some more..

Adam Quiney No good, I know far too many Syrians for that hint to do me any good.

I do know a lot of Syrians. However, at this point, we're still in an area where this could definitely just be one of my friends playing a joke on me. The key then is to not tip my hand at all. Just keep saying things that don't really mean anything and see how things flow.

Jacob Justice Beatification dammit, that is always that problem. Why can't I be from a country with less prominent and friendly people in the world, so I am more memorable, like England or America.

A further hint then, all those Syrians you know pay my salary from their taxes.

I must warn you that if you cannot figure out my true identity then you are not the person I am looking for and there will cease to be anymore facebooking communicae with you. I assure you my photo is real.

So now we're starting to stray a little bit from the realm of people I know. The jokes have been a little off-target, which sometimes is just a sign of my friends joking about things that I don't yet know about, but after a few of these in a row, it's cause for suspicion. Then, on top of that, he's sticking with the Syria angle, which wasn't funny to begin with. At this point I started to suspect.. Plus his ultimatum is dumb - the threat being that.. what, I don't get to have him as a friend, when he was the one that requested our friendship? Always remember who controls the power in these situations.

Adam Quiney I read in a book that in Syria, sunglasses don't work, and you can only eat the left half of chickens to avoid getting the bird flu. If you can confirm these facts, I will be willing to ask you further questions, such as how much weight you can lift clean over your head.

This is pretty classic diffusion. Notice that I don't address anything that he has said, other than his continued point that he is from Syria, and on top of that, the only way that I address it is with ridiculous questions that no intelligent person would ask. If I say so myself, I kind of like the "reward" that I offer him for answering my questions: I will ask him further questions about how much he can lift over his head. These questions are a good way of determining who I'm talking to. If it's a friend of mine, they'll answer with a witty response. If not... Well, I don't know how they'll answer..

Jacob Justice Beatification you fail.

Please reject my facebook friend request, as I am told there is no way to withdraw it myself as this motherfucking piece of shit website is in no way useful to me anymore. I am going to fucking assassinate someone over this.

Ah. That's how they'll answer. So, this is the point you are looking for in an argument. Whenever the person you're arguing with degenerates their argument into swear words, personal attacks, or other things not related to what you were discussing, you have won. The two of us weren't even in an argument here, but the balance has clearly shifted towards me at this point, as the swearing and random (not to mention somewhat disturbing) assassination comments indicate. All of these signs point to two facts: This person is not a friend of mine (my friends all have good senses of humour and would not crack so easily), and, I can now claim this sovereign conversation as my own.

Adam Quiney Wow, it only took four messages to get a degeneration into swearing and assassination! I think what I will do is just leave up this friendship request as a reminder of the great conversation I once shared with you.

May your hopes and dreams grow as freely as your most righteous mustache.

At this point I've no longer got anything vested in the conversation. It's not like I had anything vested to begin with, but now I really don't care how it turns out. I'm playing around, and the two possible results are: He doesn't respond, and I have a hilarious conversation to store, or, he does respond, and I get to string things along further. The point here is that at no moment in the conversation do I truly care, nor have anything vested, in the result of the conversation. When you're approached by weird people like this, invest nothing of yourself in the conversation. They are the person approaching you, and so they are the ones that should be validating who they are to you. Take your time, and realize that the path the conversation takes is as enjoyable as the conversation itself (this may get lost on a few people).

So, clearly, a lot going on. By the next time I update, I figure that I'll probably be married, and will have passed a huge milestone in my life. When I used to work at UVic as a co-op student (if I pass along one piece of advice to people younger than me, it is that doing co-op will make your life better - honestly!) I used to listen to these two really great DJs, James LBS and Avery, from Washington DC. Not too long ago, I looked them up online, just to see what they're up to. They're both still DJing (a sure sign of people that love what they do, and believe in it - surround yourself with these types of people), and Avery had just recently gotten married. I had no connection to Avery, aside from one e-mail I'd sent him to tell him I appreciated the music they played. Nevertheless, the significance of the fact that he got married was mostly lost on me. It didn't really matter, he was just another person. I expect that a lot of people that are only partially connected to me will feel the same way. Even so, to those of you that are truly my friends, whether you have been there since the start, or merely for the last few months, you will know how much significance this event plays in my life, and how much you all have contributed to this moment in my life.

As always, keep it real, and be true. (to you. Worry about the other people later).