Wedding accomplished..

Well, the culmination of about 1.5 years worth of effort has happened, and I'm now officially married. The 1.5 years includes time spent with me starting to save up money to put towards an engagement ring, planning the proposal, going through with the proposal, and then planning for arounf ten months to get everything in order for the big day. Add in to that the fact that we bought a condo, and you've got a lot of action packed in there.

The ceremony went off without a hitch (unless you count some wayward tears on both Bay's and my faces as a hitch), and was the perfect length. Even though it was a catholic ceremony, it didn't drag on (an hour long mass would have been a bit tedious for a lot of our friends that aren't religious), and Father Swavek (the priest marrying us) was a pretty cool guy throughout the whole process.

The photos went really well, and the reception was a really great time. I didn't feel like I was being pulled in a direction I didn't want due to obligations, and I got to spend a good amount of time with all of my friends that were there. A number of people have told me that at their wedding they barely had time to do anything because they were so busy going around and thanking everyone and talking to people they didn't even know that well. Bay and I were close with pretty much everyone that was in attendance, and I never felt like I was neglecting one group of friends for another.

Writing out a summary of everything that happened strikes me as pretty boring, and would take a bunch of time to do. Instead, tonight, I'm just going to include the script that I wrote for my thank yous, and comment about any anomalies. If nothing else, it may be interesting for anyone reading to see how I prepare when giving a speech.

Alright, I've got a lot of thank yous to get out here, and, as most of you here know, I don't enjoy talking very much. So, if I speak in a monotone, no one laughs or coughs, and I take only three breaths, I think I can get through this in about 30 seconds.

[Deep breath]

Yup, that's right - I write notes about when to take specific actions if I'm hoping to get some laughter. Or just to help myself relax. The deep breath won't really do much for laughter - if people were willing to laugh, they'd do it at the end of my last comment about getting through it in under 30 seconds. What actually happened is that people chuckled - rather than take a deep breath, I jumped in and told everyone to cut it out. Horray for mild humour.

Worth mentioning is the fact that I didn't make a note of the pause after the obvious joke about me not liking to talk very much. I guess I just assumed I would know to pause there.

We don't usually get the opportunity to thank the people in our lives - we're busy, it usually comes off sounding sappy, and worst of all, there's often the expectation that the compliment we give be reciprocated. However, I've got the microphone, and I'm going to cut the cord when I'm done, so this is going to be sweet.

That's the initial light-hearted joking out of the way. Now I start to get into the actual thank yous.

I want to preface my thank yous by saying that I'm a firm believer that the people in our lives are a direct reflection of the people that we are.

We don't get a choice of who our family is, but that's not what's important - what's important is that those people have had a direct effect in shaping the people that we grow up to be. Our family are the fires and pressure that help forge the jewel that we grow into. And yes, I DID intend to refer to myself as a jewel there.

When I started writing the speech, I had the idea that I wanted to use some kind of metaphor to demonstrate the role that I feel our family and friends play in our lives. The metaphor of a diamond or some other kind of jewel seemed fitting, so that's what's going on here. Referring to myself as a jewel sounded a little arrogant to my ears, so I threw the joke in to lighten it up.

As we age and mature (or at least, as I do that), we start to meet and choose friends that resonate with us according to how we live our lives and what we believe in. Our friends are reflections of various facets of our lives, and people that affect our lives positively. We don't get to choose our family, but we do get to choose our friends. Yes, our friends also shape the way we grow and develop, though most of that happens after we've passed through our most formative years. However, I think that to a greater extent, our friends are the light shining through the facets of our personality, helping to reflect who, and what, we've become.

There's the other half of the same metaphor, though subtle - I only allude to it with the words "the light shining through the facets of our personality...". Anyhow..

So, in the interest of reducing our speeches to under 30 minutes, onwards!

I would like to thank...

* Mom, Lew and Rachelle

For bringing up Bay, and helping her to become the person that she is today. For welcoming me into your homes, your family, and your hearts. For trying to accomodate my picky tastes in food no matter how much we insist that you don't, and for letting me sit on your couch and read when I'm just not in the frame of mind to participate in conversation.

It's hard to thank your in-laws without sounding trite. I tried to make this personal to avoid that.

* Squash friends

For always being down for having a good time, and for putting up with my constant no-shows while planning for our wedding.

I wanted to thank all of my squash friends individually, but that would have taken too long. Plus, if I did that, it would have taken away from the importance of thanking my other friends. Not that I value one group of friends more than the others, but the rest of the people I wanted to thank had been in my life for a significantly longer amount of time, and thus played more of a role

* Jay

Jay for continuuing to defy my expectations and helping to broaden my horizons.

Jay's the newest men's club member, and a great guy. I wanted one more sentence here, but those two items are definitely significant.

* Davin

Davin for being one of the most understanding guys I know, a constant source of inspiration, and a kindred spirit in appreciating the beauty of the world around us.

I didn't thank Davin for MCing the event, though that would have been a good move as well. He definitely helped bring the entire reception together into a copacetic event, and kept the ball rolling smoothly.

* Davey

For never requiring me to explain myself, and for understanding synnergy on a level very few people do. For laughing with me at the stupidity of life, and the stupidity of the people around us. No, that's not a thinly-veiled comment about anybody here.

I think Bay might have been worried that this would be taken as an insult by some people, but I feel it was a pretty safe joke, especially given that I'm explicitly stating that I'm NOT commenting on anyone there. If someone still wants to think I'm attacking them after that, well, I can only cover so many bases. At some point you just have to stop trying to please everyone.

* Adam

For teaching me the joys of the wee Dram, for getting me into as much trouble as I get you into, and most importantly, and I can't stress this enough, for being an honor to share a name with.

It's hard to thank Adam for specific things. The easiest thing to say would be that I never have a bad time hanging out with him, but that might end up inferring that I had less of a good time with other friends. Adam's just one of those guys that is a great partner in crime. Plus, added bonus, he's the other half of Team Adam (seriously, get yourself a friend with the same name - it's good shit).

* Graham

For sticking beside me through all of the good and the bad. For putting up with my quirks and moods, and sharing in so many of the good times. For teaching me what friendship is all about. For never giving up and rising to all of the challenges that face us in life.

Graham is the easiest one to thank, since he's been there the longest. Being friend's with me the longest means that he's been through the most with me, and has put up with the most of my shit. It's a testament to our friendship that we're still buddies after all this time.

* Brendan

Brendan for the fact that you never stop making me look bad, and giving me a reason to keep working out. For teaching me that I'm not the only person in the world, and for making it necessary that I learn the concept of sharing.

May sound silly, but my brother is definitely a good foil to me. He accentuates the areas in my life where I could improve, and helps me appreciate my own strengths. He and I don't talk often, and have a relationship that is not as warm as many familial relations are. Nevertheless, I have a great deal of respect for him, and this was an attempt to articulate that. The working out bit sounds kind of stupid, in retrospect. I think I improvised and cut that bit out when I was speaking.

* Mum

Mum, for teaching me sensitivity, and compassion. For teaching me that it isn't worth doing things in life if you're not willing to do them all the way. For teaching me not to take anything for granted - not friends, not family, and not life. For teaching me to always put myself first, except when it's time to put others first.

* Dad

For teaching me how to laugh, both at myself, and at everyone else, and most importantly, for teaching me how to make others laugh. For teaching me that living life doesn't have to be that difficult, and for teaching me that if you want to live life right, it's worth it when it IS that difficult. For teaching me to be true to myself first and foremost.

* Mum and Dad

For teaching me that the journey is what matters in life, not the destination. For teaching me how to love, and for living with me through all of the good and the bad moments. Yes, this is one of the good moments.

Thanking my parents was easy, and all of this was really just speaking from the heart. I could have gone on longer with ease, but that would have detracted from the other people I wanted to thank, and it also would risk boring people (and then as a result, detracting from what I wanted to say in the first place). For both of them, I wanted to make sure that I had something there that was somewhat contradictory, because that's the way life can be, and that's how we have to live our lives. Sometimes you really do have to put yourself first, but sometimes, you also have to put others needs before your own - life is all shades of grey, and there is very rarely a black/white decision.

Aside from myself, my Mum and Dad are the people most directly responsible for the way that I have turned out. You don't need to be articulate to thank your parents - just think about the things you like about yourself. You can bet that they played a role in shaping and developing those traits.

* Bay

And Bay! For sharing with me in the lessons that life has to offer. For sharing with me in the joy of learning, and for being my partner to discover the world with. Thank you for teaching me new ways to learn, and new ways to appreciate the world around us.

Thank you for being beautiful in a way that will only continue to grow and develop as we age together. For keeping me honest when I most need it, and for being willing to tell me when I'm being a jerk.

Maybe it's stupid to thank your wife for being beautiful, but this not just empty rhetoric on my part. I really do see in Bay a beauty that only goes stronger as she learns more self-confidence. She's young in many ways that transcend age, and that's a quality that I value incredibly highly. If you think I'm being superficial thanking her for this, then you didn't really understand what I'm thanking her for.

Thank you for your courage, your strength, and your compassion. For working with me to make it through the tough times that require the strength of two people, and for sharing with me in the joyous moments that would be too much for just one person to cherish.

Thank you for forgiving me later when I step on your toes, and thank you for being the reason that this wedding actually happened.

Thank you, for being my wife.

And that's that. Bay and I head off to Bali soon, and after that, Hong Kong. It'll definitely be a welcome break after such a busy past year.

In other news, I played my squash league game tonight and really sucked. I haven't written any squash journals in quite some time, and that's largely due to the fact that I haven't had any time to take lessons. However, our hotel in Bali has a squash court in it, which will be a good morning workout (I don't want to go on vacation only to put on 20 pounds), and I plan to re-dedicate myself to those once I get back from the honeymoon, so look for that to start up again.