Here’s something I heard a brilliant coach say recently:
“The fact is that you’re right about the work. There is an endless amount of work to be done. The amount of service that you can provide the world is never-ending, and will never be complete. If you can understand that (rather than accept, which suggests there’s something wrong that you must learn to live with), then you will be able to shift your thinking and create something different”.
That was Steve Chandler, responding to me asking him about the struggle I was facing with regards to my time.
Here’s another one:
“The quality of your life is a directly related to your ability to be with uncertainty”.
That was Tony Robbins, talking directly to me, through the television camera that was aimed at him.
Both of these messages resonate with the idea of letting go of control. When I suggest this to my clients, they recoil in horror (high-performance professionals are generally experts at controlling processes to ensure desired outcomes).
“If I give up on control, it will be chaos! Disaster! Nothing at all will go my way!”
In those moments, it’s so easy to see the context within which they’re operating. They don’t even realize that they’ll never actually lose their remarkable ability to control things – they’re just going to be practicing something new. They’re going to be expanding their scope.
Then I turn around and have the exact same conversation with my coach. After all, it’s different when it’s you right? Today, it’s not about control, it’s about my time and commitment.
I’m right in the middle of my conundrum right now. I’ve committed to continuing my work training coaches, and also struggling with the fact that it consumes a massive amount of my time and is a net loss in terms of revenue (travel to the States twice a month is not cheap, no matter how much you scrimp).
Normally, I would just operate over the top of resign: “Fuck it, I’ll just do it anyhow”.
I can still do that – I always have that option. I just want to expand my scope and try out something new. So… I don’t know where to go from there. Unfortunately, awareness doesn’t create the solution — it’s just the first step.
Right now is the tough part: being aware of the bankruptcy of the old pattern, without having a clear idea of the path out of it. Here’s something another wise coach once told me:
“Our job as coaches is to get them [understand them], then coach them or leave them. Sometimes, your job is to leave them in their muck”.
See you next week.