The majority of my work is spent listening to people and doing my best to really get them — and hopefully, to leave them feeling “gotten”.
One of the things I notice is the amount of time and energy people spend trying to convince themselves that they are something they secretly believe they are not.
Rather than simply sit in the truth that lies beneath, we spend great amounts of energy trying to explain, rationalize, analyze and justify why we aren’t the very thing we’re afraid of being.
The easiest place to see this is fear itself. It’s so rare that we are willing to simply own that we are afraid. Most of our biology and our societal training tell us this is a bad thing, and so we go out of our way to hide the truth even from ourselves.
Have you ever noticed your partner felt cranky, and gently tried to point it out, only to get a response like “I’m not cranky, I’m just …”?
What sets you free is when you stop trying to convince yourself you’re something you’re not, and simply be with yourself as you are.
Are you afraid? Be fearful.
Angry? Be angry.
Hurt? Be hurt.
Sad? Be sad.
Acknowledging and embracing these simple truths tends to be uncomfortable. We’re afraid that if we embrace what is currently there for us, it’ll never go away. We’ll lose ourselves in it forever.
But we do the greatest harm when we try to deny what is real for us in the moment. Cheerleading over top of how you really feel is simply the act of painting a turd with glitter.
Freedom is created when you are willing to sit with your truth.