When I sat down with fifteen people, I didn’t know coaching, transformation or leadership.

I knew fear.

I knew the stories in my head about who I was and who I wasn’t, and I knew the stories in my head about the stories in everyone else’s heads. I knew that they wanted more than I could offer. More information, more techniques, more concepts, and more training than I could provide them.

I knew that they weren’t clear on what they wanted, but by the end of our time together, they would be clear that they hadn’t gotten it.

I knew that we had made promises that I wasn’t sure we could keep. I had stood for possibility — the possibility that flying all the way to Victoria and spending three days with Bay and I could be a transformational experience. I had sold the possibility that you could create lasting transformation, rather than temporary inspiration.

And all I could think about was the possibility that I wouldn’t.

In truth, that stormed raged away in my head for months leading up to this weekend. Often, it was easier to get upset with everyone else, rather than look at the fear about myself.

And still, while the storm of my fear raged, I took baby steps towards the goal I had set. We sat down and planned out gifts when I least wanted to. I created an agenda when it felt like nothing I had could be of value to anyone. Sometimes I avoided working for seven hours of the day, desperately playing video games in an attempt to make the scary commitment I had made go away, only to spend the last thirty minutes of the day completing a task that moved us closer to what we said we would create.

From my fear, I love the concept of being able to live my life entirely free of fear.

“If I can just find the right coach/tool/mantra/affirmation that will allow me to eliminate all of this fear from my body, then I can do all of the things that I’m here to do.”

But I know that’s simply more fear — a perfect invitation to put my attention on moving the feeling of being afraid out of the way before I do the things in my life worthy of causing me fear.

There are things in your life that you are here to do, and they are things that will cause you a great deal of fear.

Don’t wait to be settled. Don’t wait to feel fearless. Don’t wait to have it figured out. Don’t wait for it to be convenient.

Do the things.

The fear will take care of itself.