Ep 191: So You’re In a Hole
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Does our approach in helping others really empowers transformation?
Let’s say the person we’re coaching is stuck in a hole, and as leaders, we tend to provide support to them. Our initial reaction to offer help for getting them out of it would be to give them a hand to lift themselves up, provide a ladder, and so on. And it does help them to get out of the hole they’re in but it doesn’t actually do much good. It may help them in the short term but it doesn’t make a difference in the long run. If they’re stuck in the hole again, who would help them get out of it? Will they rely on someone to help them out or should they find a way to get out of it themselves?
Transformational leadership is more than helping them get out of that state. It’s more about being empathetically willing to relate to their feelings struggles, being able to support them and their decisions, and simply being there with them along the way which makes it deeper to analyze and that makes transformational work more challenging to empower.
The real challenge here is how far are we willing to go to provide empathetic support to them. How long can you endure not helping them and instead be willing to be with them and stay open-hearted as they work in their process and ultimately let them discover their own journey? A transformational leader, as discussed further in this episode, requires an exceptional amount of effort to support them that will help them move forward.
Let’s dive into this parable a bit more as we’ll also discuss why our job as transformational coaches should be less and less rather than serving our clients more and what makes transformative leadership and coaching distinct from any other relationship.