Sometimes I get asked by people how they can support me. Every time, I would get flummoxed and feel lame. I’ve never been good at asking for support — I’ve never really been good at even needing support.
What I mean there is that needing support means I’m dependable on others, and that is bad news for my childhood programming. Instead, I learned to create myself as a man without needs.
“It’s all handled over here, thanks. How can I help you though?”
I’ve been breaking this old pattern up for a while now, but I realized recently that I really wanted to give people the gift of being able to support me — of being able to impact me and make a difference in my life. And so I sat down and wrote out this list of ways people can support me, so that I don’t have to be flummoxed any more — I can simply share what would really make a difference for me. (And then let go them needing to actually follow through with anything on this list).
So, if you would like to support me, here are some ways. If you want to see the longer description behind each of these ways, scroll down.
- Have a coaching conversation with me, and then refer people to me
- Listen to my podcast, share it and/or engage with it
- Watch my coaching live on FB and share, participate or engage with us
- Come to one of my events, or refer someone to one of my events
- Invite me to come speak at your event, or on your podcast
- Hire and work with a coach
I’m adding to this list as I go. For now, here’s some more explanation for each of these items.
- Have a coaching conversation with me, and /then/ refer people to me
I love it when people introduce me to someone that is up to big things and one of my people. It’s probably the most heartwarming act of trust I can ever get. Especially because it’s such a vulnerable thing, making a referral like this — being willing to trust me to honour the connection, and trust the person you’re referring to receive it as a gift.
I ask people first to have a coaching experience with me, because otherwise they have no idea what they’re referring someone to, nor how powerful a conversation like this can be. And as a nice added bonus, they get to experience some of the magic themselves. Win win.
2. Listen to my podcast, share it and/or engage with it
Making a podcast is a real act of love. I get nothing from doing it (other than a hoarse voice at the end of recording four episodes at once), but the conversation matters, there’s not a lot of people having this particular conversation, and I care about the possibility that we could all step more deeply into our own leadership.
For the most part, I toil away in obscurity, and I work to empower that fact. My commitment is to produce my art, make requests like this one, and trust things to unfold as they do.
But I would love to have more people hear my words, and I can’t do that on my own. When you share my podcast with someone, you help me reach a broader audience — and you help the conversation get out there.
And if sharing it feels too pushy, then just commenting, rating it, writing a review, or even e-mailing me to say thanks goes a looooooong way.
3. Watch my coaching live on FB and share, participate or engage with us
Doing live shows is an edgy thing, and it can feel lonely at times. When there’s no one watching, it’s a lot of energy to generate to an empty audience. I’m a believer that we become great by being committed to doing our absolute best for that one single viewer — and so that’s how I play.
You can support me by sharing these live coaching shows (and you’re supporting the person who’s put their hand up to be coached too, by both supporting them and helping them practice authenticity in front of people), putting your hand up to be coached, and engaging with us during the show through your comments and questions.
The difference between 20 people participating and 22 is not that big. But the difference between 1 person and 2 is massive.
We’re live every Friday at 10AM PST.
4. Come to one of my events, or refer someone to one of my events
We run at least one intensive every year. It’s an incredible event, and we offer it at a relatively low cost so that people wanting to work with us at a lower level of commitment can do so.
It’s an incredibly scary thing (at least currently — maybe not in a few years) to put down the money for a hotel ballroom, fly our assistant out, and do all of the preparations required for this kind of event. Never mind actually enrolling people in it.
It makes a humongous difference to me when someone makes an introduction, telling someone they think they should really check out this thing I’m doing (and even better when the person making the introduction has come to one of our events or is signed up).
5. Invite me to come speak at your event, or on your podcast
Do you have an event you think I might be a good candidate to speak at? Or perhaps a podcast where I might be a good guest?
I would love to have a conversation with you about how that could be of mutual benefit. Just like sharing my podcast, inviting me to speak on your platform is an honour and provides an opportunity to continue deepening our collective leadership (and it leaves me feeling loved, trusted and supported).
In particular, I would currently love to speak on a TEDx stage — if you know of someone you could put me in touch with around this (specifically someone involved with accepting speakers, rather than pointing me to an application page), I would love the introduction.
6. Refer me to events that you think would be good for me to be at
I notice that as I deepen my work, it’s harder and harder to find amazing events. There’s a lot of cheesy events and a lot of the same formula of “inspiration plus selling from the stage”.
I’m always looking for places and events that speak to the same conversation I’m in, and if you know of any places where I might be a good fit, I would love you mentioning it or introducing me to someone that handles applications.
Specifically, I would currently love to attend Summit Series (and have not yet been accepted as a participant).
7. Hire and work with a coach
Some people hate it when I share this one, because it sounds like I’m being preachy and trying to avoid getting supported. (“What’s your greatest weakness?” “I care too much”)
But this really does support me, especially when it’s a coach asking me how they can support. So many people in our world are committed to the safety of trying to do this on our own — reading books, watching videos, and saying how we’ll hire someone later. For now, we’ll just keep doing some research.
One of the best ways you can support me is by committing to your own support. What you can’t see is that by doing that, I (and everyone else) get the benefit of you doing your own work. When you go inwards, the shifts you create in yourself are the greatest teachers for those around you. And I promise we will learn volumes more from you than if you busy yourself trying to teach us.
Oh, one last thing — create your own “How Can I Support You” list, and share that with other people. Gift others the generosity of allowing them to support you.