Part of what my own transformation is up against seems to be the tendency of my ego to seek out ways to “do the work” without having to confront the breakdown that inevitably precedes any breakthrough.

When I’m confronted with this kind of challenge, new fangled tools, books and techniques become appealing. Look at all of these testimonials and bells and whistles! This thing must work.

But at the end of the day, what I find most powerful is who the person across from me is being as they support me with whatever practise or tool I’m undertaking.

A spiritual practise is a beautiful thing, but if the person across from me has fallen under the sway of substituting dogma for the naked exploration of Spirit, they’re going to have trouble taking me much deeper than that. It doesn’t really matter how penetrating or deep the scripture or spiritual text is — my ego can always twist it and use it to justify staying exactly where I am.

Meditation is a profound practise — until I start using it as an attempt to eliminate the feelings I don’t want to be with. At that point, it doesn’t matter what technique I’m using, or how many hours I spend each day in practise; my ego has gotten ahold of it.

What I’ve found in my exploration is that I can’t dismiss any of these approaches or methodologies. They all have the possibility of being powerful tools and systems for transformation.

The upshot of this is that there isn’t really a bad tool or belief. Everything can be transformational, when it’s delivered with love and rigor.

The baseline is never the tool — it’s the practitioner, and most importantly, it’s who they’re being.

And the irony of that is that, once I’m standing in front of someone that has spent years developing their ability to be, it really doesn’t tend to matter that much what methodology we’re working through.

We could be working through a questionnaire that reveals my personality types, and they might notice and reflect to me how I seem to be deflecting what the tool is offering me. Boom — that’s the moment where they cut through the veil of my automaticity, and where a shift can happen.

Or maybe we’re just having a conversation about ice cream, and they share and notice the way I seem to have judgment about people choosing particular flavours, or taking a long time to order.

Or maybe I’m simply spending time with them, and I notice they don’t seem to beat themselves up the same way I do when they make a mistake and look silly.

None of these examples looks like the five-star ayahuasca experience, the $400,000 coaching package, or the latest brain-fixergizer machine with all the electrodes, bells and whistles.

That’s kind of the point.

Transformation isn’t really about the thing. It’s about the way someone shows up with you, continually and consistently. It’s about choosing into a committed relationship with someone who’s way of being in the world is transformational.

If you’re looking for a place and group of people to practise transformation this way, consider joining us next year in The Forge. ❤️