Mid-week Live Coaching: Melissa Faith

Corporate America is run mainly by masculine energy, with women only playing side roles that are often far away from the limelight. Melissa Faith certainly had a fair share of challenging and divisive experiences working in that field, ultimately pushing her to take the leap and find a better version of herself. She sits down with Adam Quiney to share how she left the corporate world in exchange for the life of a transformative coach. Melissa discusses her desire to create a podcast to help men find growth by utilizing their feminine energy and how the ugly moments of her past when it comes to men may become an obstacle in this coaching stint. She also turns the tables to talk about how women can also learn from men by allowing themselves to be vulnerable to leadership’s masculine attitude.

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Listen to the Episode Here:

Mid-Week Live Coaching: Melissa Faith

As is the case with every episode, we are doing some coaching. It was a super interesting conversation. I know I say that a lot in part because my purpose on this planet is to create inspiration. If that’s your purpose, you’re working to generate a lot of inspiration moment by moment. I suppose maybe that makes me a bit of an unreliable narrator. I’m going to find a way to be inspired by that, which shows that. All of that being said, this conversation was interesting for a few reasons.

First, Melissa, our guest, and I had not talked at all prior to connecting and getting into this conversation. Melissa had reached out and added me and said, “Adam, I love what you’re creating. I love what you’re up to. I’d like to volunteer to be coached.” I love that and I said, “Let’s make it happen.” We got her scheduled and showed up and did not have too much time to connect before we dived in. The thing you’ll notice straight away is that there’s not a strong what we call a coaching request in this conversation.

The coaching request is usually something like, “I want to get this. I want to create this. Here’s where I am and this is where I’d like to be.” The coaching request is your destination. It’s what you want to leave with. Melissa did not have a clear one of those. You’ll see in this conversation that we’re navigating around that fact. As time goes on, it starts to be a little more of a conversation about masculine and feminine dynamics. Not the gender masculine or feminine. Rather, the energies of masculine and feminine, the masculine divine and the feminine divine. Even though we’re not coaching, what I am doing is bringing the being of a coach and I’ll speak to that. We’re doing some exploration in terms of the feminine and the masculine. It’s a valuable conversation nevertheless. Notice what shows up for you as we go through this. I hope you enjoy it. Let’s bring Melissa on. Let’s dive into this. Let’s do this.

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Let me share how you and I know each other and who you are for me already, and then we’ll go from there. We’ll dive in. It’s neat because some of the people that we have, I’ve known for years and some of the people like you, I’ve known for ten minutes. We’ve been in this shared orbit. I can remember who added who on Facebook. You reached out and said, “I love what you’re doing and I’d love to volunteer.” One of my favorite things are people that are game. As soon as we got on the call, part of who I get you are, Melissa, is adventure, courage, feminine grace, softness, and love. Sovereignty is another word that comes through. Thanks for bringing all of that already.

Thank you for shedding light on that. I have my own dose of fear as well. I’m human, too. I resonate with what you said about when our clients come to us with their fears where they’re mirroring our own fears.

I don’t even need my clients to do that. I just turn on Facebook and I’m like, “Ah.” It’s live for me all over the place. Thanks for a million mirrors.

It’s interesting how it works out. I come from corporate America and I came over to Hawaii with a one-way ticket when I was in the middle of my spiritual awakening. Not having any idea what any of this was, anxiety, depression, and I’m suicidal. I had the whole gamut. When I finally decided to go on Facebook with this new Melissa, I had this overwhelming fear of getting backlash from folks. We’re six hours ahead here, so when I woke up in the morning, there was a string of support from all these beautiful souls that I haven’t seen in years from high school and elementary school. There’s one message from my good friend criticizing my work. My fear that I was afraid of was showing itself to me in that one thread. That was beautiful to allow it to unravel. That was the beginning of my journey of trusting the work and trust in why I’m here. Things naturally unfolded after that.

What catalyzed you in making that step, that leap out of Corporate America and into what you do now?

The leap out of Corporate America wasn’t a choice. I was “mentally ill.” I understand now what all that means. It was a space where I started recognizing how money was moving, the relationships that I had, and the games we’re playing. I started seeing the underbelly of what existed. What we’re discovering now where I have been seeing it for some time, but denying it. It was a loss of complete self. I don’t know who I was. I felt like I was a shell of a person because who I had been programmed as wasn’t fitting and wasn’t working anymore. I didn’t know how to go to the next step.

It was a complete surrender. I left Corporate America and got a little bit deeper. It’s one of my many long meditations. I heard this gorgeous soft voice, “Go to Hawaii.” I said, “I’m officially losing my mind. I’m hearing voices now,” and that was it. I got a one-way ticket and I came over. I had a complete transformation here in the land of Hawaii. The power here is super intense. I allowed myself to come back into my feminine divine here in Hawaii. Hawaii supported me in that journey.

We’re trained out of who we are. Not through malice or wrong. That’s the nature of the world is, “Who you are, needs to be a bit different here. Take that corner off of you. That’s a little edgy. Tone that down. That’s easier for me to be with.” Repeat, like water softly eroding away a mountain, and then you get to however you are. Corporate America or any high-powered career is a great fit in a way for that.

It’s like, “I don’t know who I am. From that, I don’t know where I’m called towards.” Great, we’ve got all of the things we think you should do and we’re going to get mad at you if you don’t do them quickly and loudly, so go do them right now. You got a bottomless pit of needing to be told what to do? Here you go. I’ve seen a lot of attorneys be in that and drawn into that. You’re in a rushing river and you flow along that.

I was always on a plane, in a hotel, a meeting, or a conference. My schedule wasn’t my own and it’s so easy to get caught up.

Melissa, what are you bringing? What are we working on? Where are we going to dive in?

I planted this seed where I’m craving to hold a podcast. I want to call it, To Man With Love. It’s raw, authentic, and loving conversations about evolving into the man that you truly desire to be. We’re going to be talking about different conditionings that are set upon the men. The disconnects of relationships that exist between the male and the feminine divine, and also how to embrace both within all of ourselves. It’s an idea, desire and longing. I have male clients as well as female clients so it feels like it’s the next juncture for the work that I do. I would love to be coached by a man who is conscious and understands this conversation and has walked his own walk in his journey of elevating his consciousness to shed some light on where my energy should be focused in the podcast.

Assuming we did that, where would you want to arrive at or find yourself at the end of our conversation?

Masculine Energy: The corporate world trains people only out of who they are.

With full confidence that I’m not bringing in my male wounding into the conversation.

Is that a bit of a concern?

I’ve been working on my male wounding for quite some time. The fact that I have private male clients has allowed me to see I’m present in holding space for the individual. Now that it’s a different dynamic and I have a co-host with a different energy, I want to be able to see the wounding for what it is, allow myself to be present within, and not allow it to get entangled in the conversations. Look at how the body speaks. As I’m saying that, my uterus is pulsating, the fear.

I’m going to operate from the assumption you’re willing until you tell me otherwise. Is that all right?

Absolutely.

What is that fear that’s showing up for you, just even in talking about this?

I’m direct with a lot of love. I’m a no-BS coach. That’s why folks hire me. I know sometimes, it can naturally come out. I’ll have a moment where I’ll catch myself in an interaction with a male in my life and I’ll catch myself using him as the example for what once was that I’m still needing to work through. I come from sexual trauma and physical trauma so the relationship I’ve had with men is quite lengthy. There are all these different boxes that I can fit into, different relationships with men. The first thing that comes up is not being my authentic self, but there’s nothing more that I am than being authentic. Now I’m questioning the conflict.

On the one hand, I get that. How can we be anything but our authentic selves? Even in our inauthenticity, there’s a degree of authenticity to them. On the other hand, in the spectrum, we lie or we show up as less than our fullest expression. I’m a believer for the rest of my life, hopefully, because it makes it interesting. There are going to be edges. Places where I’ve not yet fully been able to express who I am and I’m like, “That’s a little edgy.” I could get this fear of like, “Maybe I’m not going to be fully authentic at the moment.” Help me get a sense of that. Let’s assume that’s what happens. What would that look like? How would we know that was happening? If your fear manifests itself or comes true, then what would you see on this podcast or around this podcast, or whatever?

If the fear came true, what we would see is not giving the person the voice that they need.

Tell me what that means.

Letting them know what I believe they need to hear.

What’s showing up for you as you share that?

It’s still alive. I’m seeing myself in sessions with clients working with male clients and none of that shows up because I’m conscious, aware and present. Now that I’m speaking to you about it, preparing myself for something, it’s showing up.

What’s showing up is this fear that you will not provide people what you think they need to hear?

That I will not provide people what is in resonance with what they need to hear.

Can you make that real for me? What wouldn’t you be sharing if you weren’t giving them the voice that they need and you weren’t providing what you believe they need to hear?

It would look like telling them what they need to do as a woman to a man. The woman is the one that wears the pants in the house and happy wife, happy life type of mentality. A deep-rooted, unconscious understanding, “She’s happy that I’m happy.” Wait a minute, what about your happiness?

Even in inauthenticity, a degree of authenticity is still present. Click To Tweet

From your fear coming true, are you delayering now? Is that what’s happening?

I totally am.

From that fear, what you’re saying would happen is you would be telling them what they need to do. You’d be manifesting that aspect of the feminine archetype or shadow, or whatever we call it?

Yeah.

I want to check and make sure that what you’re saying rather than just agreeing with what I’m saying.

It is. What came through when you said that was that because I’m coming from a sovereign unconditional space, then perhaps their logical mind is not ready to hear what I’m seeing at the moment. Energetically, it’s what their soul will be ready to hear at the moment.

I understood the words you said, but I get a little lost in the chain of how we got there. Let me lay the planks so that I can make sure I’m with you. Initially, there’s this podcast you’re called to put into the world. Two, you’re bringing what is there for you to bring as opposed to coming from your wound or getting enmeshed in that. I was like, “Let’s look at what it would look like then if that fear came true. If you didn’t separate or whatever.” You said you would not bring your authenticity. You would not provide the voice that they need to hear. From that, you would be telling them what they need to do?

It feels wonky and it feels a little off. I’m not able to identify what feels off. I’m clearly seeing the separation. I’m clearly seeing my authentic self and watching a man transform in front of my own eyes. It’s the old wounds that continue to reverberate that don’t pertain to my work anymore. I’m looking at the examples that I have in my life and how I’m not applying this fear in those relationships and those exchanges. I’m projecting something that I’m already in the practice of not even doing anymore.

Is there an issue here? It sounds like this is resolved.

No. It’s resolved. You’re good, Adam.

I love those words. I would say so far, I’ve done little in this conversation. That’s not to dismiss where you’re at. You may have heard me say this or you may not have. This is what I call coaching for dummies and super-smart people. That’s the loophole. One is where is someone right now? What’s going on in their lives? What’s the context of where they are? Two is where do they want to be? Three is what’s the gap between those two things? Four is the coaching as we close that gap. Where this conversation has gone so far is exploring where you want to be a little bit and in checking out the gap for you, there’s not one.

I wasn’t aware of it.

Melissa, what is it you want to create around this? There may not be an answer for you to this question. In which case, this would be a short coaching conversation, and that’s cool, too. Where do you experience a gap in wanting to create something here? Where’s it like, “I want this and yet.”

I used to be a Type-A personality. I had everything organized, everything in boxes, everything colored file folders, and all that kind of stuff. I had a label maker. I was one of those. Part of the work that I do is trusting the intuitive hits and allowing myself to be guided. All the work I’ve done up until now is based on that. With fear every single time I’m doing it, but I’m giving myself permission to surrender to it. What comes up is I’m about to air a podcast. I don’t have episodes and I don’t have this and that. At the same time, this sense of wanting to surrender and continuing to trust that process. Understanding as well because now I have another energy involved. I have a co-host that I have to work with, and how to navigate that process because she’s a Type-A personality. She’s much in the world of things that need to be organized and set in a certain way before you execute.

What did you do in Corporate America, by the way, Melissa?

I run a national campaign for a nonprofit. I was in bed with Corporate America. I work with the corporate sponsors.

I could imagine that work would leave you at times feeling a little out of integrity. There’s a lot of compromise in that. Is that the way you experienced that?

Masculine Energy: The value of money is diminishing in the corporate realm since there is a lot of it involved in every transaction.

It was interesting. I have a peculiar background. I was at a boardroom table with fifteen men and I was the only female in the room. I had masculine energy. I’m a Colombian-New Yorker, raised in Queens.

I don’t want to get into an argument with you.

I knew how to play the game. I knew how to manage my sexuality to get what I wanted. Shortly thereafter, I ended up becoming a dominatrix in New York City and that was an interesting experience. I realized I was a dominatrix because of my unconscious traumas that I had experienced as a child. I realized, “That’s not who I wanted to be anymore. I didn’t want to use my sexuality to get something in return.” The whole, “I scratch your back, you scratch mine.” I want you to understand my sexuality and live within my own feminine divine.

How we got onto this path was that I was acknowledging and speaking to how working for a nonprofit would have a lot of compromises and at times, your integrity might feel yucky. You’re sharing your background and the past that you’ve been on.

My integrity did feel yucky because the trade was, “What can I give you if you give me?” There were loads of money involved. The meaning that money did have was I’m giving you something in return for it, but it didn’t feel authentic or real. It was surreal. I’m speaking about it out loud.

The image that comes to mind is the difference between bottled water and a river. You’re in exchange for bottled water or money back and forth as opposed to this conduit for cosmic creative energy or whatever you want to call money. That doesn’t sound as woo-ey as what I just said.

I’m all about the woo-ey. It’s true because it’s energy. I’m also seeing how I had a client that was going to sign on and he’s in the issue of money. I need to hold space for him to coach him to get past that fear. It’s my fear being presented.

It sounds like you’ve gone from a masculine approach. Corporate America tends to be masculine in its approach as well as in its gender, but I like to separate those. There’s a lot of men in that, but the energetics tend to be masculine, linear, penetrative, aggressive, competitive, etc. It sounds like where you’ve gone to the other side is your approach is feminine, surrender to whatever is showing up, receptive and open?

I want to work with those men that hold that masculine dominance type of approach.

To do what with them?

I look back at these brief moments of exchange with certain men that I’ve worked with in the past and I’m a feeler. I’m a natural intuit. I feel emotion and energy from everyone and everything. That’s what brought me into anxiety, depression and everything. I wasn’t aware that I was picking up on others’ emotions that wouldn’t necessarily mine. I remember having exchanged with a couple of men where I could feel that’s not where they wanted to be either. I could feel that that’s not the role they wanted to play and there was this gorgeous, vulnerable, kind soul inside that wouldn’t dare to come out.

There are so many masks you have to wear in Corporate America, in New York City. I would like to hold space to help them discover, uncover, and unleash that, and give themselves permission to live in their own sovereignty. I had been waiting for Corona to come. I see Corona as a blessing. I see Corona as an opportunity for us to thrive. I would love to hold space for men who are willing to surrender to the feminine divine to give themselves permission to release what no longer serves and to live in their own life, whatever life that may be.

Thanks for sharing all that. I felt you in that. I want to speak to everyone. To be clear, we’re not coaching. This isn’t a coaching conversation that we’re in, which is fine. It doesn’t have to go one way or the other. It’s important we distinguish that because there’s no particular place Melissa wants to get herself to. That’s what a coaching request is. “I want to be here and I’m here.” I can’t seem to get over there, so what I’m doing over here, to put the cards on the table, is exploring what’s going on in her life, being curious about some of this stuff, and seeing what shows up for me. It’s possible we never do any coaching. Sometimes, that’s how it goes and that’s okay, too.

The coaching is naturally unraveling. This is the beauty of holding space because there may not be a particular end goal that I’m looking at, but I’m unraveling a lot of hidden wounding that I wasn’t fully aware of because I’ve been so invaded. Especially with COVID, a lot has been going on and I haven’t given myself permission to take a moment and fit. I would see this as coaching as well. It’s unraveling naturally the way it needs to for me to hear what I need to hear.

Here’s the distinction I would draw. Thanks for putting that into the space. I would distinguish between the doing of coaching, what a coach does, which is ask questions, explore awareness, communicate directly, and all of that coaching stuff. There’s the being of coach and the being of a coach is who I or you or anyone be with anyone, regardless of whether I’m doing my job or not. When I’m with my friends, I’m still standing to some extent on what a coach is. I try to model my work, be human, and be transparent. Not because I’m coaching them. It’s because that’s what I’m committed to being on the planet. Where we are in this conversation is, I’m bringing that being. We’re being with each other. I’m not coaching you in a particular direction and that would be more along the lines of the doing. I do have a question for you, Melissa, if I may ask it.

Absolutely.

Correct me if I’ve got this wrong, but I heard a desire to help men who have found themselves in the same place as you, masking themselves and shutting all that down which I hear as I have a desire to help men who are suppressing their feminine. Is it that you want to support men to more fully explore their feminine and be expressed in that way? Is there something different that you’re aiming towards through this podcast?

Relationships come together as mirrors. We're attracting whoever and wherever we are at our evolutionary level. Click To Tweet

What comes with it is releasing the conditioning. Explore themselves keeps coming up and that naturally would turn into exploring the feminine.

Where do you think the endpoint for these men is? That’s a bit of a fabricated thing. There is no endpoint. Humor me anyhow.

The endpoint would be that they release any unconscious conditioning of who they should be, what a man is supposed to be in society, what their role is supposed to play out as, surrender to their power, and trusting of the feminine divine that we’re here to collaborate. We’re here to hold space for each other. Relationships come together as mirrors. We’re attracting whoever we are in our intimacy, wherever we are in our evolutionary level, and holding space for them to realize in their intimate relationships that it’s a dance that we’re doing between the masculine and the feminine. The feminine is finding who she is and finding her power and the man honoring and trusting the guidance of the feminine.

Honoring and trusting the guidance of the feminine. I heard there’s an exploration of themselves and, in that, an exploration of their inner feminine. There is a question that came up from my intuition to ask you at this moment which is, what is the aspect of their masculinity that you don’t want to bring love to or find it challenging?

The first thing that came up was power, their assertion of power. The assertion of power is either shut down or you’re going to hear from me. Being able to stay in that balance.

I honor you for sharing that. That’s important. I believe that it turns out I’m going to do some talking. I thought I was going to ask you a question. I believe that the masculine continues to win the feminine and the feminine continues to win the masculine. That’s the cycle that we’re in. The way the world is set up is we’re at this point where part of masculine energy is linear power. There is a danger to the masculine energy. It’s penetrative. We can penetrate through sex. We can penetrate through our focus and our consciousness. The question I asked you is quite penetrating. We can do it through war. You run someone through the sword that is more of the masculine energy. A lot of masculine energy is trying to avoid that danger. That’s part of what I see. I’m hearing from you a deep desire for masculine reverence of the feminine. Am I right about that? That’s intuitively what I’m hearing in you.

Masculine reverence of the feminine but at the same time, the feminine trusting in the masculine.

Tell me what that would look like. As the expression of the feminine divine, what would you want to gift to the masculine?

Softness, kindness, nurture but not crutch.

Not mothering? That’s not even quite the right word, is it?

Mothering is mothering. In my experience, a lot of men are looking for wives that represent their mother because there’s an unconscious wound, a mother wound, that exists. Mothering, no. It’s not about replacing one for the other. It’s nurture. If it’s mothering, there’s an imbalance that exists.

What do you think men or the masculine needs to hear from the feminine as far as that power and that danger is concerned?

To trust the inner guidance, to trust the divine wisdom that lives within you, and to know that by them honoring themselves and what allows their highest good to shine will be of the highest good of all. Trusting that present moment. Being aware when those unconscious patterns come up with those unconscious needs of filling come up and being vulnerable, expressing what you’re feeling, expressing the fear that exists within you. By airing it out, there’s room for healing and understanding.

Where do you find yourself in this conversation? Where we arrived at or gotten to?

I got to go into deep meditation after this. A lot has opened up. I find myself with the immediate fear of like, “Am I not ready for this? What are you thinking? How can you bring an idea to the table and want to create it?” At the same time, this trusting that I’m here having this conversation with you to help me unfold that so I can continue moving forward on the vision that I have. I’m looking at that fear in the face. A lot of stuff is coming up that can potentially be an impediment for this podcast that I’m looking to create. There’s fear but a surrendered fear. It’s nice because I’m not feeling I want to hit delete and runaway. I’m feeling more like, “Good for you, Melissa. You didn’t know what this was going to be about and you allowed yourself to trust and look how it’s all unraveling. Good for you and allow yourself to continue applying that in your process.”

As a representative of the masculine, would you like to hear from me what I often find wanting from the feminine energy? Would that support you?

Very much.

Masculine Energy: Men must learn to surrender to their feminine side and give permission to release from what no longer serves them.

I want to be clear that this is not to trod upon or pushed down or to disregard what the feminine wants from the masculine. It’s not like, “Here’s a man telling women what she needs,” or anything like that but rather, we need to hear this from both of each other. From the feminine in general, I find myself wanting you to be open and a desire to be revered for the masculine energy as opposed to shift it or to have it show up differently. You can speak to what you see a lot of women or a lot of the feminine doing. A lot of the masculine is trying to pull away the danger, trying to pull away the safety, trying to be sensitive which is important. Masculine energy needs to be open to feel into the feminine. In doing so, the masculine energy at its finest gets washed away. Because it can’t be trusted, we take away the danger which then neuters that. What shows up for you as I share that?

That’s not the intention I want to bring to the table. Thank you.

To be clear, I’m not saying that’s what you’re bringing. I’m saying that’s what I often am wanting from the feminine energy.

This brings a lot of clarity to allow the conversation to unravel. Revering a woman, for me, feels more like worshiping the woman and the man not having to say that you’re an opinion. I’ve had a handful of men in my life that were like that and it didn’t sit well with me in the past before I dove into this work because I was a dominant figure in the relationship. This is juicy because I don’t want dominance or submission to exist. It’s ebb and a flow. A clear surrender keeps coming up, surrender to each other.

I’m on a little bit of shaky ground here. The shaky ground is I want to make some assertions and I’m not an expert in this realm. You and I talked about this before. My assertions are that what the masculine wishes to do is claim and open the feminine. I can’t speak for what the feminine wishes. You’re using words like devotion, which should be more of feminine energy. It’s reflected to the masculine. It’s like, “I want to claim this. I want to open this gorgeous life force and energy and all of that’s being in front of me.”

What inspires or moves the masculine to do that is receptivity, openness, and surrender, which is the nature of the feminine energy. The more open the feminine is, the more the masculine can polarize out and bring its strength to claim the feminine. I’m curious. What Melissa is here to do is to inspire more of that in the masculine. I’m not saying that’s necessarily what you’re saying but I feel some of that as part of your journey. What is there for you to surrender to, to open to, to be receptive to in the masculine that would be an edge for you?

To open and surrender to allow myself to be dominated came up. Where is that coming from? That’s a struggle.

Can we slow down and sit with that?

Yeah.

Thanks for letting that come forward.

That word dominating has such a heavy weight to it. It feels uncomfortable allowing the man to lead.

He’s going to screw it, isn’t he?

Yeah.

I’m not saying that men are prone to screwing up. I’m saying that in leading, we will make mistakes. First of all, I felt you tap into the edge there more so than I have up until this point. It’s not a criticism of how you’ve shown up. It’s an acknowledgment of what you let yourself feel. To be fair, men have not done well. We have led it poorly. We have dominated from force and violence rather than from loving and a commitment to open us and our partners, to open the masculine and the feminine together. There is a portion of the masculine energy that is dominant. What do you might see there to be practiced? It doesn’t have to be a high gradient or anything like that but to play with that, to practice with that you brought forward?

Allowing myself to trust in the exchange that I have with the men. What may be coming up in the monkey mind is not serving any longer. It’s not necessarily what I’m feeling about him. It’s the unconscious wounding that’s continuing to speak. Just even thinking about it is overwhelming. Allowing myself to be led. What do I have to do to practice that? There are certain men in my life are my triggers and those particular triggers, having a candid conversation with them about what I experienced here and asking for them to be in their authentic state. It’s not necessarily the state that they think they need to be in for me.

I love the way you show up when you’re present to like, “Ahh.” That is great. That calls forward my masculine when you allow yourself to be with that.

Thank you for that. That, “Ahh,” in the past was always me deemed as being crazy, emotional, out of control, or demanding. That, “Ahh,” I didn’t know what the heck was going on. I was losing it and I had no clarity. I had zero clarity. To be recognized, to be in the, “Ahh,” by a man and be honored for it is quite beautiful.

The masculine must learn to respect the feminine, and the feminine must start to trust the masculine. Click To Tweet

Thanks for saying that. That’s the dance of polarity. The feminine energy is, at times, messy. There’s cultivating both sides of that energy internally. If we all did feminine energy, we’d lack structure and form. We’d have beautiful energy and stuff, but there wouldn’t be that much form. If we were entirely masculine, it would be boring, rote and dull. Crap would get done on the schedule but there wouldn’t be much love, excitement, joy, or any of that other delicious stuff, or sadness or grief.

What I loved there for you, Melissa, was the edge of letting the masculine lead while you bring all of the energy. You let yourself be in the unknown and like, “Here’s how I’m feeling in this moment. I’m scared.” Trusting the masculine with that. I can tell you that there is a lot of podcasts from a variety of people telling women how to be and telling men how to be. There is not a lot of podcasts or work in the world revering each other. It’s scary to do that. It’s scary to trust the masculine to lead.

From the masculine side, it’s scary to be with all of what the feminine provides because it’s a lot, it’s a lot to hold space for, to hold a container for. For most of us, it’s a weak muscle. We have a weak muscle in trusting. We have a weak muscle in holding. What the masculine wants to do with the feminine energy is solve it because then it’ll go away and then I can go back to my nothingness. I don’t know what it looks like for you to practice from here. You exploring that edge, you sharing from that place, you deepening your reverence of the masculine through a willingness to trust, that will change the world. I’m not right about that. I’m offering you feedback from the masculine on this side of the conversation.

Thank you. I’m seeing perhaps a shift in the conversation, whether it’s a male co-host or bringing in males live on the podcast to have conversations with them.

That feels like a good place for us to come to a close, but I want to check to see if there’s anything left on the table for you.

This is powerful. Thank you so much. I love that it was unexpected. It served me exactly what I need in this moment. Thank you.

Melissa, I honor your strength. I honor the way you’ve had to create that and express through the masculine and to survive in Corporate America and to do whatever you had to do and shut down your feminine, which is quite a lot. You have a great deal of feminine energy. You’re a feminine woman. You were able to do that for so long. I honor the strength that is required. It is a terrifying thing to trust the masculine or anyone to lead us especially when we have that much strength. You’re calling forward quite a potent masculine because it’s going to take one to match you. You can out strength them. You’ve already proven that.

I honor both the strength and the courage that you embody. Wherever you’re at in your journey, whether it’s setting up a podcast, calling in a partner to the world, I’m in awe of that. I acknowledge the juiciness of you, too. There’s a luscious sitting in feminine radiance and that’s delightful to be with. Finally, I acknowledge you for the trust. Thanks for trusting me to let me lead and your openness wherever the conversation went. In a way, we’ve been modeling that dynamic a little bit and that’s cool, too. Thank you.

Thank you.

Anything that you’re present at this moment that you’re like, “That happened. I didn’t think we were going to go there. I’m shocked about this.”

There’s no shock. It’s more grateful and gratitude. I’m grateful that we uncovered all these little things that I need to sit with because I was pummeling through with the idea, “I have to transition. I’ve been working with COVID patients and that’s slowing me down. I got to transition.”

That’s masculine energy?

Exactly.

Moira talked about launching for love, how powerful that is for everyone. Moira, thanks for everything you’ve shared. She’s relating to the experience you’re in, Melissa. By and large, I appreciated the conversation. It’s cool. Who knows where it’s going to go? Are we in a coaching conversation? I don’t know but we’re creating something. We’re co-creating here. Lian Brook-Tyler, who does great work in this area, I highly recommend checking her out too if you want to keep expanding your awareness and stuff like that.

She says, “I see this in every coaching session I have with male clients, discovering that their masculine penetration, presence, protection, provision is welcome, wanted, and needed. It’s an unbelievably powerful thing for them.” It’s not that the feminine is craving that too but in that conversation here. When you said the thing you’re afraid to surrender to the masculine is to the dominance to letting them lead, Moira said, “That took my breath away.” That’s a good place to be playing. Tracy thanks you for everything you’ve shared too. She says, “Totally in awe of the masculine that you will call in Melissa.” It’s down this path.

Thank you.

Thanks for being at the dance. It requires a lot of humility. Especially these days, it’s rife. The conversation alone about masculine-feminine in the wake of me too and to take ownership of everything that’s toxic or first stage or whatever the masculine has created. It’s hard for us to stand on this side where we’re honoring and holding with reverence, both of those two energies. At the highest level of practice, masculine and feminine can look a lot like the lowest level. They’re drastically different but it’s like, “That man is being dominant. Bad man.” It’s like, “No. He’s doing so in partnership with the feminine and they’re deepening together.” This is not wrong but young and immature. I appreciate you being someone in that conversation with me throughout this.

Masculine Energy: Even at the highest level of practice, masculine and feminine can look a lot like the lowest level because of their clashing differences.

Thank you. I appreciate you, too.

Melissa, if people are curious about anything related to you, what you’re up to, this podcast, or anything like that, how do they find out good stuff about you or the bad stuff? Where are all the dirt hidden?

I got lots of that, trust me. It isn’t hiding anymore. It’s all up in the visible. I have a website, Melissa Faith Ramirez. I’m also on Instagram, @MeliMoFaith. I needed more faith in my life. My middle name is Faith and I was always like, “What is this faith thing?” I grew up Catholic, recovering Catholic, all that fun stuff. It was me finding my faith in myself that allowed me to walk on this journey and now helping others find faith in themselves. @MeliMoFaith when they look at Instagram. I needed to find more faith.

Remind me what the name likely would be.

It’s To Man With Love. It feels good. I want it to be a soft conversation. I love how it’s all unraveled. That’s the title. That was my purpose behind the podcast, but it went into a different way because I had my own stuff that I was holding on to unconsciously. Here we are. That goes to show, my feeling was to love, but my mind was allowing me to go somewhere else.

Melissa, thank you so much, @MeliMoFaith. It’s been a treat to have this conversation. I felt called more into masculine-feminine polarity. That’s been a draw for me. I’m seeing it everywhere in the world. I’m like, “Masculine money and feminine money, how does that take part?” If that’s something you’re curious about, let us know. You guide our conversation. Thanks, everyone, for coming and hanging out. I love you, guys. We will see you next episode.

Important Links:

• Melissa Faith Ramirez
• Lian Brook-Tyler 
• @MeliMoFaith – Instagram

About Melissa Faith Ramirez

I AM Melissa Faith Ramirez

As an Intuitive Shamanic Healer & Transformative Coach, 

I walk with you to embrace your authenticity & vulnerability 

in creating a deeper understanding of who you are.