Somewhere along the way, people tend to trade-off different aspects of who they are. If I embody the quality of Wit, then it’s really common that I’ll find places in my life where I believe Wit is welcomed and desirable, and other places where it has no place. (Maybe with your friends and family you are the witty wise-cracker, but at work, you become serious and grave.)
Every quality of being tends to have particular trade-offs. There are many others, but here’s a common one for each of the twenty-five qualities of being described in Who Do You Think You Are. You are more than a single quality of being, and so you may notice a number of these trade-offs within you.
These trade-offs tend to be what has us erroneously go searching for things like “Work-life balance”. If you suppress your Wit at work, and overly express it with your friends and family, you’re going to feel like you’re out of balance.
It’s not actually a re-balancing that needs to happen though, as that just reinforces the trade-off you’re making. While your life becomes more contained and controlled, the problem is that you are making a trade-off in the first place, and so any attempt to create a solution inside that paradigm is doomed to continue the cycle.
The breakthrough happens when you learn to integrate, allow for and embody BOTH sides of the trade-off in each and every instant.
Adventure: Being reliable vs. Creating Adventure
Brilliance: Being Brilliant vs. Being in Relationship
Champion: Standing for Greatness vs. Loving Someone as They Are
Commitment: Being Committed vs. Having Choice
Connection: Extroversion vs. Introversion
Creation: Artistic Creativity vs. Finishing Projects
Curiosity: Exploration and Discovery vs. Making Decisions
Ease: Being Relaxed vs. Being Impactable and Impactful
Generosity: Being Generous vs. Having Boundaries
Grace: Having Space for Others’ Humanity vs. Having Space for Your Own
Integrity: Making Promises vs. Accepting Yourself as You Are
Joy: Full-Expression vs. Being Taken Seriously
Leader: Being a Leader vs. Having Camaraderie
Love: Loving People vs. Feeling All Your Emotions
Magic: Being Alive to Possibility vs. Manifesting Reality
Passion: Having Desire vs. Staying Sober (Emotionally/Physically/etc.)
Peace: Living a Big Life vs. Embodying Peace
Permission: Standing for Sovereignty vs. Honouring People as They Are
Power: Creating Impact vs. Being in Relationship
Presence/Radiance: Taking Up the Spotlight vs. Leaving Room for Others
Purpose: Moving Things Forward vs. Being with People
Spirit/Divinity: Seeing the Greater Good vs. Being in the Moment
Unity/Oneness: Loving People Exactly as They Are vs. Having Boundaries, Rules and Laws
Wisdom: Embodying Wisdom vs. Learning From Mistakes
Wit: Having Fun vs. Having an Impact