YOU CAN’T LEAVE A PLACE UNTIL YOU’VE BEEN THERE

We don’t leave a place until we’ve fully been there. But we don’t like being here—especially when “here” is hard. So instead, we tell ourselves where we should be.

I should be further along.

I should be over this by now.

I shouldn’t need help.

I should already have what I want.

Every time “should” enters the space, it creates resistance. And resistance keeps us stuck.

The cruel irony is that even our attempts to stop resisting get co-opted.

We start thinking:

“I shouldn’t be resisting. I should be better at accepting.”

So now we’re resisting our own resistance.

Real transformation doesn’t come from pushing harder or fixing faster. It begins when we can slow down enough to simply be with what is — especially the parts of ourselves we’d rather not touch.

The unkindness.

The fear.

The shame.

The parts we believe we’ve outgrown or should be passed by now.

Until we can let those parts into the room, they won’t leave.

And we won’t either.